Today parents spend little free time with their children. Why is it the case? Who are more affected: parents or children?

In
this
contemporary era,
parents
spend inadequate amount of
time
with their
children
. The reasons behind
this
development are various. In my opinion, it has a remarkable impact on both
parents
and
kids
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I intend to explain the reasons and the results of
this
trend. The first reason behind
parents
pass
Verb problem
spend
show examples
little free
time
with their
kids
is that some people's
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
terribly hectic. In
otherwords
Correct your spelling
other words
,
parents
who immerse themselves in their business have less free
time
to spend with their
children
.
In addition
, many fathers and mothers are not aware of the importance of family
time
and do not have sufficient Knowledge about the benefits of spending
time
with their
children
.
Moreover
, nowadays, social media has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contributed to individuals
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
less
time
with each other.
For instance
, traditional family games and entertaining activities
such
as
story telling
Correct your spelling
storytelling
show examples
have been replaced by numerous amusing social media platforms and video games in people's
pass
Correct your spelling
pastime
show examples
time
.
This
development can bring about several negative consequences for both
parents
and
children
. On the one hand, when
parents
do not spend enough
time
with their
children
, they
notonly
Correct your spelling
not only
will not experience
sense
Add an article
a sense
the sense
show examples
of intimacy in their family but
also
their emotional bond will not be strengthened.
On the other hand
,
children
will be
also
affected significantly. Since
parents
are the first individuals who communicate with their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
, they play a vital role in
children
's upbringing. So, if the family atmosphere is not friendly and family members do not spend
time
together,
kids
will make false
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
. In conclusion,
this
trend that
parents
spend
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little free
time
with their
children
can stem from different reasons
such
as being busy and lack of awareness.
However
, it can definitely influence
parents
and
children
. I hope
parents
raise their awareness and spend
time
as much as they can with their
kids
in the future.
Submitted by momenzade.mahna1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
Task Achievement
Enhance task response by incorporating a broader range of specific examples and detailed explanations that fully support your main points.
Language
Consider revising minor grammatical inaccuracies and typo errors to enhance the overall clarity and correctness of your essay.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed all parts of the task, providing both reasons for the lack of time parents spend with their children and discussing its impact.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
You made a commendable effort to support your main points with examples, though incorporating a wider variety would strengthen your arguments even further.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!