As transportation and housing problems increase in many cities, some governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, many individuals face challenges to maintain living in big cities, because of housing crises and trafficking,
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
a number of governments are helping businesses to relocate to
a remote
Correct the article-noun agreement
remote areas
a remote area
show examples
areas
. I believe it is a positive idea because it will create a job market for the youth who live in these places. In
this
essay, I will display my thoughts and
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The main reason for housing and traffic problems is citizens from remote
areas
move to large cities to find a better future.
For instance
, many of the youth population from all over the Kingdom are moving to the capital city Riyadh, to work and live there because there are higher job opportunities and higher salaries there.
As a result
, the population of Riyadh reached a
significate
Correct your spelling
significant
show examples
number of 9 million people living there,which causes suffocating trafficking and high renting and housing costs. Government officials are trying to fix
this
problem by giving a helping hand to private businesses to open in rural
areas
, which will create work opportunities for the local community.
For example
, the Saudi government encourage companies to open factories in my area, by providing free
lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
show examples
and loans without interest
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
.
Furthermore
, it
is helped
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
Yanbu residents to work in their hometown and do not need to change their
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
location for the sake of making a living. In conclusion, I believe that creating businesses and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job markets in
a remote
Correct the article-noun agreement
remote areas
a remote area
show examples
areas
will help people make ends meet without the need to leave their region behind. which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
, in the end, to stopping people flood
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
urban cities that cause overpopulation , housing and traffic
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
Submitted by neamaabdo90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structure more to enhance readability and flow.
task achievement
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to fix minor grammatical errors and improve sentence clarity.
task achievement
You provided a clear thesis statement and wrapped up your essay effectively in the conclusion, successfully addressing the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure and good paragraphing, making your arguments easy to follow.
task achievement
You used relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens the overall effectiveness of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban centers
  • overpopulation
  • traffic congestion
  • quality of life
  • economic development
  • job opportunities
  • balanced economic distribution
  • sustainable expansion
  • environmental degradation
  • supply chains
  • logistical issues
  • cost of living
  • urban amenities
  • infrastructure
  • resource availability
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!