Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

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vNowadays

Correct your spelling

Nowadays

, some

people

have various views about whether

children

should be taught to be competitive or co-operate.

While

sense

of competition sometimes be useful for life, I believe that a

sense

of co-operate is more vital for

people

. On the one hand, many

people

tell

Verb problem

say

show examples

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

being competitive is very important for all

children

and they always try

encouraged

Change the verb form

to encourage

show examples

their

children

with

sense

Add an article

a sense

show examples

of competition. If

children

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

Change the article

apply

show examples

competitive, they always try

being

Change the verb form

to be

show examples

great

between

Change preposition

with

show examples

others. These

children

success

Replace the word

succeed

show examples

many

Change preposition

in many

show examples

things, especially during rivalry with others. If

teacher

Fix the agreement mistake

teachers

show examples

use various games and prizes

for encouraging

Change preposition

to encourage

show examples

children

, they start to feel competitive and they always try to be the first. It

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

that a

sense

of competition can help to reach the peak of

specific

Add an article

a specific

show examples

ability,

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

increase self-confidence

Change preposition

show examples

children

For example

, many

people

always

encouraged

Wrong verb form

encourage

show examples

their

children

with

sense

Add an article

a sense

show examples

of contention because of many reasons.

On the other hand

co-operating

Correct your spelling

cooperating

show examples

with one another is, in fact, a superpower that challenging

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

can

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

easier.

This

situation is about solving difficulties together

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because teamwork enables better

problem- solving

Correct your spelling

problem-solving

show examples

Moreover

co-operation

Correct your spelling

cooperation

show examples

enhances personal development as it supplies a range of divergent views. Else,

co-operation

people

usually be friendly and talkative, because these

people

always communicate with other

people

For example

during

Change preposition

show examples

father

Change noun form

father's

show examples

child

Replace the word

childhood

show examples

, he

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

basketball

his

Change preposition

with his

show examples

team

Change preposition

show examples

co-operation

with friends. Now, my dad

co-operate

Change the verb form

co-operates

show examples

with her colleagues and he

decide

Change the verb form

decides

show examples

all problems easily with

co-operation

Overall

, both

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

pros and cons that help

children

become more active and valuable,

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

teamwork

offer

Change the verb form

offers

show examples

various advantages

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it includes fewer negative aspects.

Submitted by soglomovsarvar on Mon May 13 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Try to enhance the clarity and structure of your essay by using more specific transition words and phrases. This will help to guide your reader through your ideas more smoothly.

Task Achievement

Work on developing your ideas fully. Supporting your points with more detailed examples and explanations can significantly strengthen your argument.

Grammar/Vocabulary

Be cautious with your grammar and vocabulary choices to ensure your ideas are communicated clearly and effectively. Small inaccuracies can make some sentences difficult to understand.

Task Achievement

Your essay provides a balanced view on the topic, discussing both sides of the argument effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

You succeeded in introducing and concluding your essay in a manner that outlines your overall perspective clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that to learn a second language well it is necessary to live in the country where that language is spoken.What is your opinion about this?

Police in some countries like England don't carry guns. Some people don't approve of this because they think that police with guns gives them security. Others think that police carrying guns decreases crimes. What is your opinion? Give relevant examples and experiences.

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Scientists argue that many people eat too much junk food, and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility.