IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graphs below show the number of calls a company received at their Nigerian and Indian call centres in connection wit hthe various cae models they produce.

The graphs below show the number of calls a company received at their Nigerian and Indian call centres in connection wit hthe various cae models they produce.
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The charts illustrate how many phone calls a car manufacturer’s Nigerian and Indian call centres took,
according to
Linking Words
 which car
model
Use synonyms
 was discussed.
Overall
Linking Words
, in both countries, the number of calls received for Models D and E went down, but
Model
Use synonyms
 C went up.
However
Linking Words
, for Models A and B, there was a decrease in
Nigeria
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 there was an increase in
India
Use synonyms
. Between 2010 and 2015, the number of calls for
Model
Use synonyms
 D decreased by 6 and 44 for
Nigeria
Use synonyms
 and
India
Use synonyms
, respectively. In the Nigerian centre, the
Model
Use synonyms
 E went from having 68 calls in 2010 down to 57,
while
Linking Words
 these figures were 476 and 399 for the Indian one.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Model
Use synonyms
 C was responsible for increasing calls in both countries, going from 71 to 84 in
Nigeria
Use synonyms
 and 402 to 476 in
India
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile,
Model
Use synonyms
 A saw a decrease in the Nigerian call centre, with the number of calls going from 52 in 2010 to 49 in 2015, but in
India
Use synonyms
, there was an increase as the numbers went from 322 to 380 calls.
Model
Use synonyms
 B had a similar pattern, falling from 33 to 24 in
Nigeria
Use synonyms
 but rising from 184 to 192 in
India
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words model, nigeria, india with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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