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Band 4

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development
More countries are getting the same as soon as possible so
people
 can buy everything
in
Change preposition
apply
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everywhere.
This
 ability has some benefits
although
 has a lot of disadvantages, I believe that it`s more negative and I will explain some deal for my opinion of viow. Absolutely easy shopping is so enjoyable for everybody in the world because it`s no need to go on travel where is so hard, with transportation high costs, everything is near us and we can have everything we want easily. Another thing which is so exciting is seeing some tourist places that are fake but are reliable for
people
 who are keen on visiting somewhere
that is
 so far
.
Rephrase
away.
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 Currently, every brand
are
Change the verb form
is
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 in every city in European countries like England, Germany or the other one. so
people
 can enjoy them But the back row are a lot and there are so damageable for some businesses like the tourist industry,
for example
,
people
 can see the Ifel in every city and they don't need to go to another place so the first thing that will injure is the tourism industry,
on the other hand
, the traditional business can get delete because
people
 have a lot of main brand with the general fee so they chose them.
this
 thing can be so effective in some business In general
copying
Add a comma
copying,
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 everything like shops and places which are especially for
a
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apply
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culture isn't so good and has many disadvantages.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task response
Your essay provides an overview of the topic, but the ideas could be developed more thoroughly with clearer, more specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Start with an introduction, follow with body paragraphs that each focus on one main idea, and conclude your essay by summarizing your argument.
task response
Consider expanding on your examples by explaining how they specifically relate to the prompt.
language use
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and language variety to enhance the clarity and impact of your argument.
task response
You've captured an interesting perspective on the globalization of products and its impact.
coherence and cohesion
You successfully addressed both sides of the argument, which shows an attempt to address the task comprehensively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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