IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Social media marketing can influence what consumers buy. Do you agree or disagree? To what extent do you agree?

#media #influence #consumers
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It is argued by some that social
media
Use synonyms
 marketing
have
Change the verb form
has
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 a huge influence on
people
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 when they want to buy something. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and in
this
Linking Words
essay
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essay,
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 I will state the reasons for my view. The first and foremost reason for holding to my view is that individuals around the world always struggle to sell
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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stuff through social
media
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 marketing
,
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apply
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 because numerous
people
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 are busy with social
media
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 during
a
Correct article usage
the
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 day and spend a lot of time
for
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apply
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surfing online. So, there
are
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is
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 a great statistical society in social
media
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for instance
Linking Words
 Instagram, Telegram and so on and so forth. Another reason for my position is that
people
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 are steadily bombarded with online adverts that can have a great influence on customer choices and encourage them to purchase something might not need.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
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 effect, online stores raise their sale, if they produce effective advertisements and promote on more pages.
Lastly
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, social
media
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 are able to trend a specific brand
in
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apply
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all over the Globe.
Such
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 a type of clothes results in
people
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choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
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 it as a new fashion to wear. In conclusion, I totally agree with the opinion that in the era and age
technology
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of technology
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, social
media
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 marketing
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a great influence on what consumers buy.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
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 spend a lot of time
with
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on
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 social
media
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 and
also
Linking Words
 online adverts have a perfect effect on
people
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as well as
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 individuals dramatically follow trends on social
media
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. Given
this
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 situation, It is recommended that all sealers even tiny markets
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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better learn the sale through social
media
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 marketing in order to consume
this
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 great opportunity.
Submitted by hs.abdolhay70 on

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content development
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and develop it fully with examples or further explanation. Some points could use more development or specific examples to strengthen the argument.
language accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Minor errors can be improved by reviewing subject-verb agreement, article usage ('the social media marketing','a great statistical society'), and prepositions.
sentence variety
Try to diversify your sentence structures to showcase a wider range of language skills. Mixing complex sentences with simple ones can enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing.
grammatical accuracy
Review the use of articles and plurals ('social media marketing have' should be 'social media marketing has'), as these small errors can detract from the overall fluency of your essay.
introduction and conclusion
You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, clearly stating your opinion and summarizing your main points at the end.
structure and organization
Your essay structure is logical and coherent, with clear paragraphs each dedicated to a specific point supporting your overall argument.
use of examples
The use of modern examples (Instagram, Telegram) makes your essay relevant and relatable to the current digital era.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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