Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extand do you agree or disagree

#schools #films #computers #games #books #extand

According to

scintestic

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scientistic

resourches

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resources

researchers

,consuming a

lot

meats

Fix the agreement mistake

meat

show examples

would

Add a missing verb

show examples

harmful

stomach

Correct article usage

the stomach

show examples

and

cardivascular

Correct your spelling

cardiovascular

systems of

Add an article

the individual

show examples

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

Although

meat

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

us with

essential

Fix the agreement mistake

essentials

show examples

to our body ,it might

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

Correct your spelling

cause

couse

Correct your spelling

cause

early

agensy

Correct your spelling

agency

Firstly

numerous

people

in the world

several

Add a missing verb

have several

show examples

types of meats

such

chiken

Correct your spelling

chicken

,and other types .But the

meat

of beef and chicken are the most

preffered

Correct your spelling

preferred

Morever

Correct your spelling

Moreover

, many

considered

Wrong verb form

consider

show examples

that eating

meat

has

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

harmful sides

for

Change preposition

show examples

our

health

Although

when

people

eat

meat

theyt

Correct your spelling

they

feel relaxed but it is not

benifical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

and it may

couse

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cause

early

agensy

Correct your spelling

agency

also

they can gain a

lot

of weight .

For example

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the world has

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

lot

of junk foods and 70

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of these meals

is consisted

Wrong verb form

consist

show examples

undercooked

Change preposition

of undercooked

show examples

meat

W orkers

Correct your spelling

Workers

show examples

and students prefer those

food

Fix the agreement mistake

foods

show examples

becouse

Correct your spelling

because

they do not have enough time for cooking .

Therefore

eating lots of

meat

is not advised by so many

people

. When humans eat

lesss

Correct your spelling

less

meat

they can live longer .

On the other hand

more and more

people

meat

dishes and always like fried

meat

food

cooked in ghee . Not only fried

meat

or other fried foods are harmful to

humans

Change the noun form

human

show examples

health

Turuning

Correct your spelling

Turning

health

Replace the word

healthy

show examples

food

Such

as korean and japan

people

preffer

Correct your spelling

prefer

and

also

eat boiled and steamed

food

. Again salads

also

Add a missing verb

are also

show examples

healthy

food

. If

people

eat every time

boiled

Verb problem

show examples

food

the most popular one

boiled

Add a missing verb

is boiled

show examples

risk. In

conculison

Correct your spelling

conclusion

,when numerous

lot

fried meals it is harmful to their

health

. If

people

eating

Wrong verb form

eat

show examples

boilde

Correct your spelling

boiled

bolide

meals or salad

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

steamed

this

Correct your spelling

causes

couses

Correct your spelling

causes

them to live longer

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon May 13 2024

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task response

Focus on directly addressing the task by closely following the topic given. The essay seems to diverge from the original topic about the suitability of using films, computers, and games instead of books in education.

task response

Develop ideas more comprehensively with clear examples relevant to the topic. Ensure that your essay directly relates to the prompt given to provide a complete response.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay with clear, logical statements that lead smoothly from one idea to the next. Consider using paragraphing to enhance clarity and order your thoughts more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, followed by supporting details and examples. This structure helps in creating a coherent argument.

task response

The attempt to provide examples to support your point shows a good understanding of how to structure an argument.

general

Your engagement with the topic shows an ability to think critically about the subject matter, which is a positive aspect of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extand do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that no one should do the same job forever, others believe that doing the same job is beneficial for the individual company and society. Discuss both views and give you open your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

The most effective way to solve the current traffic and pollution problems in cities is to encourage people to move from the suburbs or countryside into the city centre. To what extent do you agree or disagree?