Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extand do you agree or disagree
According to
Linking Words
scintestic
Correct your spelling
scientistic
resourches
,consuming a Correct your spelling
resources
researchers
lot
of Use synonyms
meats
wouldFix the agreement mistake
meat
Add a missing verb
be
stomach
and Correct article usage
the stomach
cardivascular
systems of Correct your spelling
cardiovascular
Add an article
the individual
individual
.
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
Although
Linking Words
meat
Use synonyms
provide
us with Change the verb form
provides
essential
to our body ,it might Fix the agreement mistake
essentials
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
Correct your spelling
cause
couse
early Correct your spelling
cause
agensy
Correct your spelling
agency
Firstly
numerous Linking Words
people
in the world Use synonyms
several
types of meats Add a missing verb
have several
such
as Linking Words
chiken
,and other types .But the Correct your spelling
chicken
meat
of beef and chicken are the most Use synonyms
preffered
. Correct your spelling
preferred
Morever
, many Correct your spelling
Moreover
considered
that eating Wrong verb form
consider
meat
has Use synonyms
got
harmful sides Verb problem
apply
for
our Change preposition
on
health
.Use synonyms
Although
when Linking Words
people
eat Use synonyms
meat
Use synonyms
theyt
feel relaxed but it is not Correct your spelling
they
benifical
and it may Correct your spelling
beneficial
couse
early Correct your spelling
cause
agensy
Correct your spelling
agency
also
they can gain a Linking Words
lot
of weight . Use synonyms
For example
Linking Words
in
the world has Change preposition
apply
got
a Verb problem
apply
lot
of junk foods and 70 Use synonyms
percent
of these meals Change the spelling
per cent
is consisted
Wrong verb form
consist
undercooked
Change preposition
of undercooked
meat
. Use synonyms
W orkers
and students prefer those Correct your spelling
Workers
Use synonyms
food
Fix the agreement mistake
foods
becouse
they do not have enough time for cooking . Correct your spelling
because
Therefore
eating lots of Linking Words
meat
is not advised by so many Use synonyms
people
. When humans eat Use synonyms
lesss
Correct your spelling
less
meat
they can live longer .
Use synonyms
On the other hand
more and more Linking Words
people
like Use synonyms
meat
dishes and always like fried Use synonyms
meat
or Use synonyms
food
cooked in ghee . Not only fried Use synonyms
meat
or other fried foods are harmful to Use synonyms
humans
Change the noun form
human
health
. Use synonyms
Turuning
to Correct your spelling
Turning
Use synonyms
health
Replace the word
healthy
food
. Use synonyms
Such
as korean and japan Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
preffer
and Correct your spelling
prefer
also
eat boiled and steamed Linking Words
food
. Again salads Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
healthy Add a missing verb
are also
food
. If Use synonyms
people
eat every timeUse synonyms
boiled
Verb problem
,
food
the most popular one Use synonyms
boiled
risk.
In Add a missing verb
is boiled
conculison
,when numerous Correct your spelling
conclusion
lot
fried meals it is harmful to their Use synonyms
health
. If Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
boilde
meals or salad Correct your spelling
boiled
bolide
and
steamed Correct word choice
apply
this
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
causes
couses
them to live longerCorrect your spelling
causes
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task response
Focus on directly addressing the task by closely following the topic given. The essay seems to diverge from the original topic about the suitability of using films, computers, and games instead of books in education.
task response
Develop ideas more comprehensively with clear examples relevant to the topic. Ensure that your essay directly relates to the prompt given to provide a complete response.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear, logical statements that lead smoothly from one idea to the next. Consider using paragraphing to enhance clarity and order your thoughts more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, followed by supporting details and examples. This structure helps in creating a coherent argument.
task response
The attempt to provide examples to support your point shows a good understanding of how to structure an argument.
general
Your engagement with the topic shows an ability to think critically about the subject matter, which is a positive aspect of your writing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example