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Band 5.5

Today, more and more people want things instantly (e.g: goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it a positive or negatibe development?

#people #e #g #goods #service #news #negatibe #development
In today's digital age, there has been a sharp increase in the number of people who want instant news, products and
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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.
This
 phenomenon is
due to
 the advancements in technology and the writer of
this
 essay believes that it is a beneficial development for society
due to
 the subsequent increased productivity. It should be noted that the increased crave for fast and efficient
service
 mainly derives from technological developments. The reason
being
Change the form of the verb
is
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 that the emergence of e-commerce, online news
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
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 and the many instances of ready-to-use
service
 has brought about an apparent reduction in the
time
 spent on these products without decreasing the quality. What is more, it is
also
 the
prevalance
Correct your spelling
prevalence
 of computers that facilitates the experience and makes it more
convienient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 and easier to use. Take the existing figures on the usage of instant goods
for example
, where a significant increase of nearly 50% can be seen, alongside the decrease in the average
time
 spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 by 15%. It is the opinion of
this
 author that
this
 shift in
consumers'
Fix the agreement mistake
consumer'
show examples
 behaviour benefits
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in various ways. The most noticeable aspect is the fact
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 less
time
 is spent during
break
Add an article
a break
the break
show examples
 on food and entertainment.
As a result
, the working hours can be extended, with more tendency to work overtime, leading to an increase in productivity.
For instance
, in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 2017 report, Amazon said that they experienced a voluntary rise in working hours by as much as 3 hours after the implementation of fast
service
 in the company. Taking all points into account, the main reason for the
gradually
Change the word
gradual
show examples
 shift to instant products is attributable to modern technology.
Furthermore
,
this
 is a positive development for the world because of the improved work productivity
as a result
 of reduced
time
 consumed for outside activities.

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Grammar & Accuracy
Remember to proofread your work to reduce minor grammatical errors and improve overall clarity.
Lexical Resource
Consider varying your sentence structures to enhance the fluency and complexity of your writing.
Task Response
To fully address the question, make sure to explore both positive and negative aspects if the prompt requires a discussion of both sides.
Examples
Effective use of examples to support your main points.
Structure
Good logical structure and cohesion throughout the essay.
Introduction & Conclusion
Clear thesis statement and conclusion that effectively summarize your viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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