IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Today more and more people want things instantly ( e.g.: goods, services, news ). Why is this? Is is positive or negative development?

#people #e #g #goods #services #news #development
It is a bone of contention that there are increasing groups of people
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
show examples
 to afford numerous types
amusing
Change preposition
of amusing
show examples
 items
such
 as
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 notifications
due to
 higher demand for enhanced lives. I
competely
Correct your spelling
completely
 presume that
this
 could positively cause an implementation on self-esteem
as well as
 self-reported development.
Initially
, in an extended period of time, the human population are taking steps to improve their certain living conditions in order to achieve
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
life
 and career.
This
 has resulted in long-term
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
 that facilities and infrastructure are up-to-date and are replacing the dated ones as well.
Furthermore
, by changing their surrounding environment and
likewise
 adapting to desirable passions of convenience conquest
such
 as productivity, services, news and so on, human have
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
 of immediate entertainment to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their attitudes towards
life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a large scale.
For instance
,
due to
 the immense breakthroughs
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
, many households are paying a fortune to fill up their houses with state-of-the-art devices immediately. There can be no doubt that these changes in populations may have
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 superb implementation on every individual across the globe. As far as they take
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of instant benefits, they can utilise them to gain more knowledge in order to enhance decision-making capabilities.
Likewise
, instant shipping is the paramount service of online shopping in terms of convenience, quickness and
customers
Fix the agreement mistake
customer
show examples
;
satisfactions
Fix the agreement mistake
satisfaction
show examples
 and numerous institutions have covered
billion
Correct your spelling
billions
show examples
 of dollars and
gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 profitable opportunities from
this
 method. Substantially, it makes
life
 faster and more comfortable, which is appropriate for the hustle and bustle of urban cities around the world so far. Taking everything in
encapsulatio
Correct your spelling
encapsulation
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would emphasize that people are more likely to receive things instantly
as a consequence
 of
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 desire for satisfaction
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 joy. Thereby, it could be a positive development regarding both sides because of the
prospertive
Correct your spelling
prospective
 factors and other advantages of
life
.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure to directly address the question prompt and provide a clear opinion or statement in the introduction. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.
Task Response
Develop your main points more fully with specific examples. These examples will help to illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas within and across paragraphs more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Aim for clarity in your writing. Be cautious with word choice and strive for precision in your expressions to avoid any ambiguity.
Content
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant arguments.
Content
The conclusion summarizes the essay’s main points well, reinforcing your stance on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant gratification
  • Technological advancements
  • Consumer expectations
  • Same-day delivery
  • Streaming platforms
  • Information overload
  • Decision fatigue
  • Environmental implications
  • Societal implications
  • Resource depletion
  • Marketing strategies
  • Consumer satisfaction
  • Quality of life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: