IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, services, news). Why is this? Is this positive or negative development?

#people #e #g #goods #services #news #development
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It is believed that currently, there are the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 are required to meet the demands immediately.
This
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 essay will show the increase in consumer expectations driven by technological advancements and prove that there is positive evolvement related to the high requirements of
people
Use synonyms
. It can be acknowledged that increasing in consumer requirements
due to
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 the fast pace of life.
This
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 is because
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming more ambitious for their future lives, they work as much as possible to achieve the highest quality in working environments to get promotions and higher salaries.
As a result
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, they force primary industrial territories must make a transition to adapt to meet the standard of society nowadays.
For instance
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, Shoppee in Vietnam has changed the way of delivery and alleviated the delivery time to have more orders from potential customers.
Therefore
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, the fast pace of life can make
people
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 demand their needs provokingly. It must
also
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 be considered that requiring goods or services immediately has a drawback.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that there are many of work for
people
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 to do both on weekdays and weekends. Stress from working and family can make
people
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 feel overloaded with many things.
Consequently
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, receiving goods from shippers after a busy day just makes them exhausted and creates more arguments in the family.
According to
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 a report from Tiki, the average number of cancelled orders after sale days of a person is over 10% more than on a normal day. The statistics table shows how
people
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 spend their money immediately and
then
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 regret their actions.
Thus
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, responding to their requirements immediately can result in tension and stress.
To conclude
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, there is an increase in consumer expectations because of technological developments and it will have some drawbacks for
people
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 relating to costs of living and the relationship between family members.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 should spend time on leisure activities involving developing relationships with other family members.
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure your essay follows a clear and logical structure, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize a range of cohesive devices effectively, but be wary of overusing them which can disrupt the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Aim to develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to enhance clarity and depth in your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Refine your introduction and conclusion to more precisely outline your argument and summarize your main points.
Task Achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task, including the implications and your stance on the development discussed.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provides a structured approach to the essay topic, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Attempts to use examples to support main points, beneficial for task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instant gratification
  • Technological advancements
  • Consumer expectations
  • Same-day delivery
  • Streaming platforms
  • Information overload
  • Decision fatigue
  • Environmental implications
  • Societal implications
  • Resource depletion
  • Marketing strategies
  • Consumer satisfaction
  • Quality of life
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