Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, service, news). Why is this? Is it positive or negative development?

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In light of the technology, individuals prefer rapid use to traditional that so.
Although
many assert that
this
trend brings detrimental consequences, I lean towards the benefits it offers to users are far weightier. It must be acknowledged that technological gadgets
such
as cell phones facilitate instantaneous communication and research regardless of time constraints and geographical boundaries which contribute to the laziness of youngsters. Taking TikTok as a prime example, its application provides a plethora of short video clips for users on various topics and content
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
entertainment only but
also
education among others. In the long term,
this
inclination is more likely to make social media users rely on immediate necessities because of dopamine hormone releases. The upsides of the moment using are defined. The foremost advantage of it is contributing to breakthroughs that relate to optimum time wasting which can be used for other activities. In conclusion, I would opine it is justifiable to the demands of immediate things,
hence
the benefits eclipse
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
upwards.

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Introduction Enhancement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, but it could be enhanced by more clearly stating your thesis and outlining the key points you will discuss.
Support Expansion
Your use of examples, such as TikTok, strengthens your argument. Try to include a broader range of examples to support all your main points more comprehensively.
Conclusion Development
Work on developing your conclusion further by summarizing your main points more distinctly and reinforcing your stance more explicitly.
Idea Development
Improve the clarity and specificity of your ideas by elaborating on how the desire for instant gratification impacts various aspects of life beyond social media.
Paragraphing Improvement
Consider using paragraphing more effectively to separate and emphasize each main idea clearly. This will improve the overall readability and structure of your essay.
Balanced Argument
You effectively highlight the impact of technology on the desire for instant gratification, acknowledging both sides of the argument.
Relevant Example
Your example of TikTok is relevant and emphasizes the role of technology in providing instant access to information and entertainment.
Vocabulary Use
Your writing demonstrates a good range of vocabulary that helps to express your ideas clearly and engagingly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant gratification
  • digital platforms
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • precious commodity
  • e-commerce platforms
  • 24/7 news cycles
  • accessibility
  • consumer behavior
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • delayed gratification
  • pressure
  • advent
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