Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, service, news) Why is this ? Is it a positive or negative development ?

#people #e #g #goods #service #news #development

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In light of the proliferation of

technology

, an increasing number of individuals tend to require necessities immediately.

This

is understandably attributable to the advanced

technology

leading to the faster pace of life. The writer contends that

this

is an adverse enhancement causing a lack of perseverance and patience. It must be acknowledged that digital equipment has significantly influenced and facilitated our lives. Regardless of the distance between individuals,

technology

has transcended geographical barriers catering to instant communication through social media or e-mail.

Therefore

, the requirements of customers are more likely to be fulfilled quickly contributing to numerous orders which means the life pace will surge fast.

For example

, online marketing and delivering services are getting popular,

whilst

Correct word choice

and

show examples

people can get things rapidly

Change preposition

with

show examples

just a click on a commercial website or a call to

wholesales

Fix the agreement mistake

wholesale

show examples

Thus

, leading to a concept of desiring stuff immediately. Notwithstanding the benefits

technology

provides,

this

inclination towards immediate gratification is not without its drawbacks. Those who depended on apparatus tend to be impatience and lack

Change preposition

apply

show examples

persistence. The process of investing time and effort plays a crucial role in the development and

further

quality of a person. By prioritizing instant outcomes, individuals may be discouraged from enduring challenges and setbacks, hindering their

overall

progress. In conclusion, the surging desire for instant demand is caused by advanced technological gadgets. Despite the possible advantages, users must consider the negative drawbacks of personal development

Mon May 13 2024

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Task Achievement

For a higher score in task achievement, ensure to directly address all parts of the prompt, not only explaining the reasons for the trend and its negative impacts but also discussing the positive sides explicitly when the question asks if it is a positive or negative development.

Task Achievement

Incorporate more specific examples and detailed explanations to bolster your points. This will aid in making your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance your essay's readability by improving transitions between paragraphs and ensuring each paragraph flows logically into the next. This could be through more varied and clear topic sentences and transitional phrases.

Coherence and Cohesion

Closing your essay with a stronger conclusion by summarizing both sides of the argument could provide a more balanced view and effectively wrap up your discussion.

Positive

Effective use of an introductory paragraph to set the context of the discussion.

Positive

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for the topic.

Positive

Provides a clear stance on the issue from the beginning, which is maintained throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

instant gratification
digital platforms
fast-paced lifestyle
precious commodity
e-commerce platforms
24/7 news cycles
accessibility
consumer behavior
efficiency
productivity
delayed gratification
pressure
advent

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Today more and more people want things instantly (e.g goods, service, news) Why is this ? Is it a positive or negative development ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some think spending a lot on birthday celebration and weddings is a waste of money. Others think that it is important for young people and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.