In many countries, parents put a large amount of pressure on their children to achieve high grades at school, leaving very little to no time for them to take part in leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Nowadays, some people believe that

children

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should put in

all-out

Add an article

an all-out

show examples

effort to achieve high

grades

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school

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, even though it may result in them losing out on time for leisure activities. In many countries,

this

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stress comes from

parents

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who want their

children

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to become top

students

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This

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essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages. Some

parents

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expect their

children

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to achieve high

grades

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school

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This

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opinion has several benefits that can be attributed to many reasons.

Firstly

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children

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who achieve good scores in

school

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can boost their confidence and enhance their interpersonal relationships. When

students

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work hard to do something well, it will bring confidence.

In addition

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, other

students

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who

also

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aim to achieve good

grades

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school

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will try to befriend

students

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who excel academically.

Secondly

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students

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who have good

grades

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school

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will help them develop in the future. Some companies require job applicants to provide their

school

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grades

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and insist on good academic performance before offering them a job.

This

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implies that

students

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who perform poorly in

school

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may struggle to secure employment.

Parents

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often pressure their

children

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to achieve high

grades

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school

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, which can lead to some problems.

Firstly

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, overlearning increases student pressure.

This

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behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is harmful to

students

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' mental health.

Students

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may suffer from mental health problems,

such

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as depression and panic,

due to

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excessive academic pressure.

Secondly

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, achieving only good

grades

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hinders the development of other

skills

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Students

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not only acquire knowledge but

also

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develop

skills

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school

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. Focusing solely on getting good

grades

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may reduce

students

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' opportunities to learn other

skills

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and pursue other interests.

To sum up

Linking Words

parents

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often encourage their

children

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to achieve high scores in

school

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, which can have various effects

such

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as boosting confidence and improving interpersonal relationships.

However

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this

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approach can

also

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lead to some issues,

such

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as mental health problems and a reduction in the development of other

skills

Use synonyms

m0751102Mon May 13 2024

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Task Achievement

To achieve a higher score in task achievement, integrate more specific examples that illustrate the advantages and disadvantages discussed. This will provide a more comprehensive analysis and make your arguments more persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, make use of a wider range of connective words and phrases. This will help to more clearly signal comparisons, contrasts, and logical transitions between ideas, improving the reader's ability to follow your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

You've effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability and organization.

Task Achievement

Your discussion on both the advantages and disadvantages of the given topic is balanced, demonstrating good task achievement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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In many countries, parents put a large amount of pressure on their children to achieve high grades at school, leaving very little to no time for them to take part in leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many country schools have severe problems with student behaivour. What do you think are the cause of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In most countries, the crime rate is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe governments should spend more money on improving roads and highways,while some think money should be spent improving public transportation, such as busses,trains, and subways. Discuss and give your opinion.