The mass media, such as TV, radio and newspapers, have an influence on people, particularly on younger generations. It plays a pivotal role in shaping the opinions of people, especially teenagers and young people. To what extent do you agree with this? Please give examples.

In nowadays
Change preposition
Nowadays
show examples
social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
and all the
influencer
Fix the agreement mistake
influencers
show examples
that more powerful for
Correct article usage
the teenager
show examples
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
lifestyle
wherether
Correct your spelling
whereas
all the young generations which
apying
Correct your spelling
paying
attention to scolling on platforms that inittialy spending time more than in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
class. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
the mass
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
individually
benefitcial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
need to improve their skill and
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
whereas
people
to perform respecting each other on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
. I do
agreed
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
with the topic within crucial reason why that
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
to younger genarational lifestyle. First of all,
medias
Fix the agreement mistake
media
show examples
such
as TV, Instagram, Facebook, and
Tik Tok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
show examples
. Which is the channel is
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
benefit for those who are attending and participating on their
platform
. Despite that old
fasionade
Correct your spelling
fashioned
whose are not
attemp
Correct your spelling
attempt
on their target and
influnces
Correct your spelling
influences
influence
.
In addition
, would say impacting to young
people
which means it was particularly reaching
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their target.
For example
, those social
medias channel
Fix the agreement mistake
media channels
show examples
put on their marketing and targeting an audience
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation rather than old school
people
,
furthermore
will succeed.
Secondly
, radios and
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
used to be popular in the aged whilst humans under development
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
technology
such
as
this
day.
Nevertheless
,
within
Change preposition
with
show examples
changing
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
and
Correct article usage
the improvment
show examples
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
technology
people
are aware
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
those
broadcast
Fix the agreement mistake
broadcasts
show examples
.
For instance
, broadcasting can
be see
Change the verb form
see
show examples
the movement on the
platform
and radio and
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
can be
hearing
Wrong verb form
heard
show examples
and just
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading should
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not
impacting
Wrong verb form
impact
show examples
as much as others. To
concluse
Correct your spelling
conclude
, the awareness of mass social
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
broadcasting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
platform
is still crucial to
Add an article
a teenager
the teenager
show examples
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
and to younger
people
who are attending
inn
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
school.
IN
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
my opinion, any kind of
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
were significant to lifestyle as those
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
are
creating
Wrong verb form
created
show examples
to broadcast on
th
Correct your spelling
the
platform
.
Submitted by Chaiyapat Soka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Work on improving your grammar and sentence structure to convey your ideas more clearly.
content development
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and that your supporting points directly relate back to that main idea.
examples
Use specific examples to strengthen your arguments and make your points more convincing.
structure
You have provided an introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the tasks from both sides, discussing the influence of various forms of media on young people.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal role
  • shaping opinions
  • younger generations
  • mass media
  • influence
  • political awareness
  • social behavior
  • norms
  • educational impact
  • consumer behavior
  • advertising
  • purchasing decisions
  • health and fitness trends
  • cultural awareness
  • identity formation
  • biased opinions
  • up-to-date
  • desires and aspirations
  • depict
  • imitate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: