IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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These charts illustrate the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 electrical devices' ownership and
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of hours doing housework in one country within
period
Add an article
a period
the period
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 of
time
 from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
, the amount of
time
 doing domestic work, like washing clothes, preparing meals, and cleaning, declined within
period
Add an article
a period
the period
show examples
 of
time
, but the usage of
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
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 and vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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likely
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
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 to increase from 1920 to 2000 and
got
Verb problem
remained
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 steady
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of
time
 in 2019.
On the other hand
, the washing machine line graph was decreased. The amount of
time
 doing housework hit 50 hours per week in 1920 and plummeted significantly for the next two decades (1940-1960). After that, it went down slightly and reached 10 hours per week in 2019.
On the contrary
, in the beginning (1920), the percentage of households owning electrical appliances for washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 (40%) was higher than
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
 and vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
. For three decades (1920-1960),
refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
refrigerators
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 a
steeply
Change the adverb
steep
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 growth than the others, but
then
 both
refrigerator
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refrigerators
show examples
 and vacuum
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 showed a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 increase and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 steady (100%)
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
time
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 for washing
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
machine
Add a comma
machine,
show examples
 it went down in 1980 and
then
 climbed back and hit over 70% in 2019.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, refrigerator with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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