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Writing Samples
Band 5

The maps below show a town centre in 1990 and the same town centre today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main future

The maps below show a town centre in 1990 and the same town centre today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main future
#maps #show #town #centre #information #future
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The pictures provide information about the transformation of the town
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 in 1990 and 2024.
Overall
Linking Words
. It showed significant changes in the town hall areas,
for instance
Linking Words
, houses, pedestrian cross, and cafe.
In contrast
Linking Words
, several
buildings
Use synonyms
 did not change
such
Linking Words
 as
buildings
Use synonyms
 in the middle of the town, children's care, and 2 bank
buildings
Use synonyms
 in the east. In 1990, the city
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 had stores for shopping and children’s care on the north side.
Hence
Linking Words
, there were several houses on the south side and 2 bank
buildings
Use synonyms
 on the east side. The newest conditions of the city are renovated shopping malls, added 2 traffic lights, developed apartments, café and made pedestrians ways. There were several developments
such
Linking Words
 as the building of 2 road crossings, replacing houses with apartment blocks, modifying the car road to a pedestrian area, replacing the bank with a café, and enhancing some shops to be shopping centres.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words buildings with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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