Some people believe government should spend money on New public buliding such as library and museum rather than renovating old buildings. To what extent do agree or disagree.
In the current era, with the startling pace of urbanization and modernization, new-built architectures spring off every day. Attitudes towards whether aged
buildings
should be refurbilshed
or not vary from person to person. I personally reckon that governments should allocate more budgets on public Correct your spelling
refurbished
infrustructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
instead
of renovation.
Opponents would argue that some of the old architectures are historical heritages, it is undeniable that these places should be reserved
and maintained. Correct your spelling
preserved
Nevertheless
, it doesn't mean that governments should reconstruct all old building
. The large amount of work and high material cost will bring Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
the
heavy economic burdens to the government, Correct article usage
apply
however
, with a reasonable budget attribution, new public buildings
can be constructed such
as libraries and museums which better serve the local residents' needs as they are also
the tax payers
.
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
In addition
, a large amount of the
obsolete Correct article usage
apply
buildings
were built decades or even centries
ago. The quality and space utilization do not fit today's needs even after the time-consuming and expensive renovation. Correct your spelling
centuries
While
the population boosted in recent decades, high-rise buildings
and skycrapers
emerged. Compared with aged Correct your spelling
skyscrapers
buildings
, these modern architectures are designed to be more safe and spacious for all funtions
. Correct your spelling
functions
For example
, when natural
disaster attacks the city, Correct article usage
a natural
such
as the
earthquake or Correct article usage
an
floods
, aged houses will not be a safe shed for the Fix the agreement mistake
flood
inhabitats
, it is too fragile to even save Correct your spelling
inhabitants
itself
.
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
To conclude
, though some of the historical buildings
have their value so that they should be reserved, I still believe, more money should be spent on new buildings
which can serve the public with a
better quality and better use design.Remove the article
apply
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task achievement
Develop clearer, more comprehensive ideas throughout the essay. Try to elaborate more on key points to support your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your points and make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical progression of ideas by connecting them smoothly. Avoid abrupt changes in topics and maintain a consistent flow.
language use
Work on spelling and vocabulary accuracy. Correct spelling mistakes ('refurbilshed,' 'infrustructure', 'centries', etc.) and use more precise language.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear introduction, outlining the topic and your stance on the issue.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
You have organized your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?