Some people believe that if a police force carrying guns, it would cause a higher level of violence in that society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #police #force #guns #level #violence #society

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Tody

Correct your spelling

Today

show examples

, a lot of

ploice

Correct your spelling

people

are allowed to work with

guns

in many countries,

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

some citizens think that will increase the social

violence

. Personally, I totally disagree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

version.

First,

according to

strict regulations,

police

cannot shoot easily. Shooting casually will be subject to serious investigation.

For example

, in China, the

police

officer who fired the gun will be suspended from work for more than three months and will be investigated for more than three months. Shooting casually will be sentenced as a criminal offence.

Secondly

, the

police

have received special training. Only in large-scale rebellions and people's lives are threatened by criminals will the

police

shoot.

Therefore

due to

various restrictions and special training, the

police

will not shoot at will.

Police

guns

help reduce levels of criminal

violence

. Because

guns

have a deterrent effect, when people in riots see

guns

, they will feel afraid. Fear will make it more difficult for them to commit

violence

. Criminals may

therefore

give up the idea of committing crimes,

thus

reducing the crime rate and social

violence

. In conclusion, strict training and regulations significantly reduce the probability of violent crime. The

police

guns

will

also

have a certain deterrent effect and prevent

further

violence

Therefore

, I firmly believe that if the

police

carry

guns

, violent incidents in society will decrease and the society will be more harmonious.

Submitted by luohongqianwen on Tue May 14 2024

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task achievement

The essay could benefit from a more detailed and specific example to support the claim about strict regulations. Consider providing a concrete case or statistical data to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is generally clear, there are occasional language errors and awkward phrasings that somewhat hinder understanding. For example, 'I totally disagree this version' should be 'I totally disagree with this view.'

coherence cohesion

The main points are supported and linked to the overall argument, making the essay cohesive.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame the essay, summarizing the key points and final stance.

task achievement

The response addresses the question fully and provides a clear stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

225 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

law enforcement
escalate
deter
overreaction
perceived safety
misuse of power
deterrent effect
law and order
public safety
crime prevention
civil liberties
use of lethal force
accountability
arms race
militarization
social fabric
statistical evidence
cultural attitudes
criminal behavior
policy implications

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Some people believe that if a police force carrying guns, it would cause a higher level of violence in that society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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