Some people believe that if a police force carrying guns, it would cause a higher level of violence in that society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Tody
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Today
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, a lot of
ploice
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people
are allowed to work with
guns
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in many countries,
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however
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however,
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some citizens think that will increase the social
violence
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. Personally, I totally disagree
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with
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this
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version.
First,
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according to
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strict regulations,
police
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cannot shoot easily. Shooting casually will be subject to serious investigation.
For example
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, in China, the
police
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officer who fired the gun will be suspended from work for more than three months and will be investigated for more than three months. Shooting casually will be sentenced as a criminal offence.
Secondly
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, the
police
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have received special training. Only in large-scale rebellions and people's lives are threatened by criminals will the
police
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shoot.
Therefore
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,
due to
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various restrictions and special training, the
police
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will not shoot at will.
Police
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guns
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help reduce levels of criminal
violence
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. Because
guns
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have a deterrent effect, when people in riots see
guns
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, they will feel afraid. Fear will make it more difficult for them to commit
violence
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. Criminals may
therefore
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give up the idea of ​​committing crimes,
thus
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reducing the crime rate and social
violence
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. In conclusion, strict training and regulations significantly reduce the probability of violent crime. The
police
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's
guns
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will
also
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have a certain deterrent effect and prevent
further
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violence
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.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that if the
police
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carry
guns
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, violent incidents in society will decrease and the society will be more harmonious.

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task achievement
The essay could benefit from a more detailed and specific example to support the claim about strict regulations. Consider providing a concrete case or statistical data to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally clear, there are occasional language errors and awkward phrasings that somewhat hinder understanding. For example, 'I totally disagree this version' should be 'I totally disagree with this view.'
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported and linked to the overall argument, making the essay cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame the essay, summarizing the key points and final stance.
task achievement
The response addresses the question fully and provides a clear stance on the issue.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • law enforcement
  • escalate
  • deter
  • overreaction
  • perceived safety
  • misuse of power
  • deterrent effect
  • law and order
  • public safety
  • crime prevention
  • civil liberties
  • use of lethal force
  • accountability
  • arms race
  • militarization
  • social fabric
  • statistical evidence
  • cultural attitudes
  • criminal behavior
  • policy implications
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