IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that if a police officer carries guns, it can encourage a higher level of violence. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #police #officer #guns #level #violence
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It is thought by some people that
Police
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officers
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 should not carry
guns
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 as it could enhance the chance of
occurring
Verb problem
apply
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a higher level of disastrous violence in
society
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. They argue that a lot of past incidents took place and are very evident for
such
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 a cause.
However
Linking Words
, I opine that
Police
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Officers
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 should carry
guns
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 as many unprecedented situations demand quick action and having a gun with them benefits the situation for social benefits as well.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, the crime rate will decrease exponentially in the future by fostering a safe
society
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. There are many incidents where the
police
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 had taken prompt decisions to encounter
criminals
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 like murderers, rapists etc. . On many occasions,
such
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 as, at the time of taking a prisoner from Jail to court for their hearing process , the prisoner tried to escape for their fear of lifetime jail imprisonment punishment for the grave crime which they had committed. So, The
police
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 had to take immediate action to encounter
such
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 prisoners and create a safe
society
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 for
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apply
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the
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apply
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humans to live in. As the
police
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 are responsible for
such
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 an important responsibility, any lack of security will be held by the
police
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 department reprehensible. Another reason stems from the fact that the
police
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 department is a significant pillar
to foster
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in fostering
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 a peaceful
society
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. Crimes like stealing, money laundering etc. are so common these days that it has become an utmost priority to carry
guns
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 for the policeman's safety as well. The security
officers
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 need to protect themselves from
such
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criminals
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 so that they can protect us . The military
officers
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 who guard our country's border against the threat of other countries'
criminals
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 , so that we can have a sound sleep at night, are
also
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 the
child
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children
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 of other mothers who pray day and night for their
child's
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children's
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 safety. Having a gun should be a permanent criterion to protect our country's heroes. It is wise
to conclude
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 that
Police
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officers
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 should carry
guns
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 at all times for their safety and to protect our
society
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 from harsh
criminals
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.
This
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 movement will enhance the security of life and citizens,
hence
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, the government should shed light on
this
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 matter and take significant action to execute
such
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 a plan to foster a better country to live in for the citizens.
Submitted by luohongqianwen on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in providing a complete structure.
logical structure
The logical flow of ideas is reasonably well maintained throughout the essay, ensuring that the reader can follow the arguments presented.
supported main points
Main points are generally well-supported, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic and effective argumentation.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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