Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
There is existed an
arguement
that academic money should be spent more on Correct your spelling
argument
computers
or the salaries of teachers
. I will discuss both perspectives and prove that the teachers
' wages
spending Change the noun form
wage
is outweigh
the electronic counterpart.
Having Change the verb form
outweighs
to
Verb problem
apply
said
that academic places should invest more Change the form of the verb
say
on
their modern facilities, especially with Change preposition
in
computers
to enhence
the Correct your spelling
enhance
qualification
of the students. The demand Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
of
using technologies Change preposition
for
while
study
in schools Wrong verb form
studying
tend
to increase in the context of global Change the verb form
tends
mordenization
. Scholars Correct your spelling
modernization
require
to access Wrong verb form
are required
with
online documents and web surfing which may help them with their digital literacies.Change preposition
apply
For example
like
, Sweden Change preposition
apply
promote
teenage students to apply Verb problem
encourages
computers
on
education Change preposition
in
instead
of tradictional
books. Correct your spelling
traditional
Morepver
, using virtual environments for teaching make education more engaging and interactive. Correct your spelling
Moreover
Hence
, through providing lecture
lively, scholars are expected to learn more effectively.
Fix the agreement mistake
lectures
On the other hand
, those advocating for higher teacher wages
believe that educators play a pivotal role in shaping students’ lives rather than devices. Like any jobs
over the world, Fix the agreement mistake
job
teachers
also
need to be well-paid to work productively with their junior
. Fix the agreement mistake
juniors
Futhermore
, there are Correct your spelling
Furthermore
a lots
of Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
household
, nowadays, Change to a plural noun
households
could
have a set of Correct pronoun usage
that could
computers
so that we could save that money for teachers
Change noun form
teachers'
teacher's
wages
now. The prime example is instead
of build
good computer rooms, Asian schools paid their budgets Change the verb form
building
for
persuade and recruit famous Change preposition
to
teachers
.
In conclusion, schools should allocate funds judiciously, recognizing the value of teachers
' wages
. A harmonious blend of technology and human expertise will lead to better educational outcomes.Submitted by [email protected] on
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grammar
Work on ensuring sentence structures are grammatically correct and more varied. For instance, refine the sentence 'Having to said that academic places...' which should ideally be 'It is argued that academic institutions should invest more...'.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to substantiate the arguments. For instance, when mentioning Sweden, give concrete statistics or outcomes to strengthen your point.
task achievement
Clarify ideas to make them more comprehensive. For example, expand on why teachers need to be well-paid with specific details on how this impacts their teaching.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a solid framework to the essay.
task achievement
Both perspectives are discussed, achieving a complete response to the task.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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