Today our communication, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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Nowadays, everyone is addicted to
technology
, even old people
. Individuals should know that there is life without technology
. Even though it can help people
in every situation.
Lots of people
use technology
and gadgets without knowing how to use them. By doing this
, they might share their personal information with the public. After that, other people
are able to learn about them easily. For instance
, people
are facing so many problems, especially with robbery. Robbers found an easy way to steal people
’s money. They steal it by using computer
technology
. We called them hackers. In the world, 350 million people
are hacked by the internet.
Actually, computer
technology
is used in most places, such
as schools, hospitals, and business centres. Because it can help people
do things easily. Also
, it saves people
’s time. If a person goes to the hospital, nurses are able to find information about her by writing her name on the computer
. Computer
technology
can also
help identify crimes. For example
, these days, crimes are found with the help of fingerprints, facial recognition, and cell phones. Also
, it is crucial for the development of the country.
In conclusion, gadgets are not so harmful if they are used for good purposes. Since a lot of people
do not know how to utilise the technology
. In my opinion, they should be taught about using technology
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
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introduction conclusion present
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be more explicitly linked to the main points of the essay.
logical structure
The logical structure could benefit from clearer paragraphing and a more defined line of argument throughout the essay.
supported main points
Main points are somewhat clear but require further development and relevance to the topic, especially in illustrating the 'dangerous situation' created by reliance on technology.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and contributes to the overall argument of the essay.
relevant specific examples
While some examples are provided, they could be more relevant and directly address the risks associated with relying on computer technology. Additionally, incorporating more balanced views could strengthen the task response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Although main ideas are attempted, they sometimes lack clarity and need more detailed support to ensure they are comprehensive.
introduction conclusion present
The essay could be improved by clearly stating your position on the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement in the introduction and reiterating this in the conclusion.
complete response
The essay addresses the impact of computer technology on various fields such as security, medicine, and daily life, which is relevant to the task.
supported main points
There is an effort to support main points with examples, such as mentioning hackers and the use of technology in hospitals.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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