Today our communication, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, everyone is addicted to
technology
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, even old
people
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. Individuals should know that there is life without
technology
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. Even though it can help
people
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in every situation. Lots of
people
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use
technology
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and gadgets without knowing how to use them. By doing
this
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, they might share their personal information with the public. After that, other
people
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are able to learn about them easily.
For instance
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,
people
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are facing so many problems, especially with robbery. Robbers found an easy way to steal
people
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’s money. They steal it by using
computer
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technology
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. We called them hackers. In the world, 350 million
people
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are hacked by the internet. Actually,
computer
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technology
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is used in most places,
such
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as schools, hospitals, and business centres. Because it can help
people
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do things easily.
Also
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, it saves
people
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’s time. If a person goes to the hospital, nurses are able to find information about her by writing her name on the
computer
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.
Computer
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technology
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can
also
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help identify crimes.
For example
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, these days, crimes are found with the help of fingerprints, facial recognition, and cell phones.
Also
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, it is crucial for the development of the country. In conclusion, gadgets are not so harmful if they are used for good purposes. Since a lot of
people
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do not know how to utilise the
technology
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. In my opinion, they should be taught about using
technology
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Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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introduction conclusion present
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be more explicitly linked to the main points of the essay.
logical structure
The logical structure could benefit from clearer paragraphing and a more defined line of argument throughout the essay.
supported main points
Main points are somewhat clear but require further development and relevance to the topic, especially in illustrating the 'dangerous situation' created by reliance on technology.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and contributes to the overall argument of the essay.
relevant specific examples
While some examples are provided, they could be more relevant and directly address the risks associated with relying on computer technology. Additionally, incorporating more balanced views could strengthen the task response.
clear comprehensive ideas
Although main ideas are attempted, they sometimes lack clarity and need more detailed support to ensure they are comprehensive.
introduction conclusion present
The essay could be improved by clearly stating your position on the extent of agreement or disagreement with the statement in the introduction and reiterating this in the conclusion.
complete response
The essay addresses the impact of computer technology on various fields such as security, medicine, and daily life, which is relevant to the task.
supported main points
There is an effort to support main points with examples, such as mentioning hackers and the use of technology in hospitals.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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