One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is society has to care for more and more elderly people.
One
of the widely discussed issues nowadays is society
has to care for more and more elderly people
. In my opinion
I think that Add a comma
opinion,
society
will be able to cope with the increase of elderly people
. One
of the main aspects is that society
need
to pay attention to old Change the verb form
needs
people
. To tackle this
problem people
should cooperate together. This
maybe
the easiest and so the best way to help elderly Correct your spelling
may be
people
.
One
clear example is that in Scandinavian countries where society
always cooperate
and Change the verb form
cooperates
help
their adults. In my Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
view
their Add a comma
view,
society
start
to focus on Wrong verb form
started
this
problem especially transmit
Wrong verb form
transmitting
this
trend to ther childrens
. Correct your spelling
their children
As a result
Scandinavian countries one
of the best countries for elderly Add a missing verb
are one
people
. One
of the main reasons behind that is
the improvments
in today's Correct your spelling
improvements
improvement
heath
care. Correct your spelling
health
For example
, we can see that people
refine new technologies to analyse and improve our life
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
This
could lead to rise
Correct article usage
a rise
people's
health problems or might result in the Change preposition
in people's
numbers
of elderly Fix the agreement mistake
number
people
because our medicine is developing more and more ways to improve our lives. Having weighed everything mentioned up, we can come to a
conclusion that Correct article usage
the
society
need
to communicate with each other and manage some problems to solve them. So it would not be Change the verb form
needs
surprised
to see Replace the word
surprising
a
stability and improvements in medicine and new technologies to Remove the article
apply
the
improve our Correct article usage
apply
life
in the near future. Actions must be taken urgently, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
otherwise
we will get a downward trends
. Fix the agreement mistake
trend
This
will cause instability in our society
and a decline in people
's lives.Submitted by dnm.best on
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task achievement
The essay should provide a more detailed and clear response to the prompt. While the main ideas are present, the arguments need further development and support.
task achievement
The essay needs clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Try to expand on each point to give a full and thorough explanation.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples consistently throughout the essay to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing each paragraph around a single main idea and ensuring smooth transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point is clearly supported with detailed explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to provide structure to your essay.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples, which can be beneficial in supporting your main points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite