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Writing Samples
Band 5

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and tradition methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#convenience #foods #tradition #methods #food #preparation
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Nowadays, traditional
foods
 and ancient ways of
food
 preparation are losing
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 popularity among people across different parts of the world.
While
 more and more people are switching towards convenience
foods
, there are very few who still love to enjoy the traditional taste. In my opinion, traditional cooking
methods
 and
foods
 will still prevail despite
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 acceptance
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 modern
food
. Undoubtedly, there is an increase in the consumption of convenience
foods
 irrespective of regions across
globe
Add an article
the globe
show examples
.
This
 is mainly because individuals find it easy to cook these types of cuisines which saves them
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 amount of
time
.
For instance
, in Australia, cooked tortillas
available
Add a missing verb
are available
show examples
 in packed form; a person who
purchase
Change the verb form
purchases
show examples
this
 product can convert it into an eatable form within no
time
.
Additionally
,
this
 gives them extra
time
 to spend on other crucial tasks.
Hence
, canned
foods
 can be considered as a reliable option.
Conversely
, there are still some people who believe that the taste of traditional
food
 is unbeatable. They argue that even though
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
 cooking method is
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
, the
food
 is more tastier and healthier. In certain parts of India,
for instance
, the villagers do not use any modern cooking equipment, rather they use hands for preparation. A group of young individuals who tasted their
food
 completely agreed to
this
 fact and posted a video on social media, promoting these techniques.
Therefore
, we can unarguably say that a minority still enjoys traditional cuisines. It is undeniable that modern
food
 and cooking
methods
 are rapidly gaining importance and acceptance.
However
, it is
also
 true that a small majority of the population follows traditional
methods
. In short, both modern and traditional cuisines and cooking
methods
 co-exist in
this
 world.
Submitted by gloriasherin on

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clarity
Ensure all ideas are clearly articulated. Some ideas, while meaningful, require clearer presentation to enhance understanding. Revisit sentences for clarity and conciseness.
examples
Use varied and precise examples to support points. While the examples provided are relevant, broader geographic and cultural references could enrich your argument.
consistency
Maintain consistency in your writing. Pay attention to singular and plural forms and ensure consistent tense usage to improve overall coherence.
balance
The essay provides a balanced viewpoint, acknowledging the prevalence of convenience foods while defending the importance of traditional methods and foods.
conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarises the main points discussed in the essay.
structure
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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