Some people say that government should not put money on building theatre and sports stadium.They should spend more money on medical care and education .Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #theatre #sports #stadium #care #education

It is asserted by some individuals that more money should be spent on the health services and education system rather than art and grounds for games.I partially agree with

this

statement.

While

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

medical system and education are the foundation of a prosperous nation ,entertainment has its own importance in the lives of the people. To commence with,an adequate part of the revenues should be spent on medical aid and schooling of children as these are the pillars of a healthy and developed nation.To explain it,the authorities should spend sufficient funds to ensure affordable treatments for the deprived and old citizens .

Moreover

,proper education should be provided to underprivileged children so that diseases and illiteracy

could have vanished

Wrong verb form

can vanish

show examples

from the nations.

For example

according to

a survey,the USA

considered

Add a missing verb

is considered

show examples

to be

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

developed country because of its

advance

Replace the word

advanced

show examples

medical and educational systems.

On the other hand

,theatres and

play grounds

Correct your spelling

playgrounds

show examples

are for the entertainment of people and encouragement of recreational activities,so should be equally funded by the government.To elaborate ,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

amusement is as important for individuals as health and study because it gives mental satisfaction to a person .

Apart from

this

construction

Correct article usage

the construction

show examples

of new and advanced stadiums can encourage the players to play well for their nation.

For instance

,India has built new stadiums with

latest

Correct article usage

the latest

show examples

methods so that players can play well and surplus the dignity of

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

Therefore

,the building of new theatres and stadiums is essential for

overall

Add an article

the overall

show examples

progress of a

ccountry

Correct your spelling

country

. In conclusion,there should be a balance between the revenues spent on medical treatments and literacy

as well as

on entertainment because both are imperative for the good growth of a country.

Submitted by japjotsandhu8553 on Wed May 15 2024

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grammar

Improve grammar and punctuation. For example, add spaces after commas and periods, and ensure subject-verb agreement.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples to illustrate points. For instance, mention specific programs or initiatives in medical care and education.

task achievement

It would be more impactful to clearly state your position (agree/disagree) in the introduction to give the reader a clear idea of your standpoint.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced viewpoint by considering both sides of the argument.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is logical, with clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs.

supported main points

Main points are well-supported with explanations and examples. For example, the reference to the USA's advanced medical and educational systems, and India's new stadiums.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that government should not put money on building theatre and sports stadium.They should spend more money on medical care and education .Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You need a website for your business, and you would like to ask your friend to build it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •Include a brief description of your business •Explain what you would like to have on the website •Provide some ideas on the use of images on the website.

Surveillance cameras in banks, offices, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and public, but they are also took for their users to spy on people's private business. what problems do surveillance cameras create? what are the solutions?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has change because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Despite the availability of many translation softwares, it is still beneficial to learn a language. Agree or disagree?

Living in country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?