Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
,
high Remove the comma
apply
sugar
products
should be more expensive in order to reduce consuming sugar
among people
. I strongly agree with this
statement, because this
promotes public health
and prevents health
issues.
Firstly
, expensive food
and drink products
, which contain high-
Correct your spelling
high sugar
sugar
levels, lead to reducing
overconsumption of Wrong verb form
reduced
sugar
and it impacts on
Change preposition
apply
people
’s health
in a good way. The problem is that more people
prefer buying cheaper products
and food
, such
as junk food
and fizzy drinks. Moreover
, they would like to eat fast food
and drink sodas, instead
of buying groceries at the market and make
Wrong verb form
making
food
with less sugar
by themselves, because fast food
is cheaper than daily products
in the markets. For example
, in the USA, most people
can refill their drinks for free several times and the amount of sugar
taken increases by
every refilling.
Change preposition
with
Secondly
, eating high
Add a hyphen
high-sugar
sugar
products
contributes to health
issues. It causes several illnesses, such
as a bad immune system, diabete
and obesity. If Correct your spelling
diabetes
people
start eating less sugary products
, it will help to prevent these diseases and influence a healthy lifestyle. For instance
, because of luring people
to eat low-cost fast food
, people
suffer from being overweight in the USA.
In conclusion, many products
contain a very high level of sugar
and I absolutely agree with the statement provided, that expensive high
Add a hyphen
high-sugar
sugar
products
decrease the demand for it
and make Correct pronoun usage
them
people
healthier. It helps to increase the level of public health
and solve a lot of health
problems among people
.Submitted by kalelkkhana on
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introduction conclusion present
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logical structure
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relevant specific examples
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complete response
You provide a clear response to the task, stating your agreement and summarizing your reasons effectively.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear and logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
supported main points
You use a well-structured argument and link ideas within and between paragraphs effectively.