IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Many people these days have computer, laptops, telephones at their homes for work. Do you thibk, working from home has more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons

#people #computer #laptops #telephones #homes #work #thibk #home
Is it in the modern era
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
fascinate
Wrong verb form
are fascinated
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on
Change preposition
by
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 instant
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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.
Change the punctuation
?
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This
 writer
believe
Change the verb form
believes
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 that
this
 activity
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 impact on human society and will write an essay to express his statement. First of all. It can not be undeniable that human attraction and
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
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 patient ability will be fallen down
cause
Add an article
the cause
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 of the usual of providing anything in a short time.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
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, the
lacking
Replace the word
lack
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 of concentration and
patient
Replace the word
patience
show examples
 is the reason why
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 turn
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fast-baged
Correct your spelling
fast-based
, do not
contain
Verb problem
have
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 enough skill set and can not be put up with high pressure
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
long
Change the article
a long
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 time.
Additionally
, it is
clearly
Change the word
clear
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 to say that the gap between
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 will
increased
Change the verb form
increase
be increased
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 if
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 continue living
too
Change preposition
in too
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 hurry, especially
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
 fall down of communication, the lack of
live
Replace the word
living
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 in harmony with each other and the break of
in
Change preposition
apply
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sympathy with someone else.
Conclusion
Change preposition
In conclusion
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,
although
 living constantly is convenient
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the gap between people and people will
be risen
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 and make every single one of us
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more
apethetical
Correct your spelling
apathetic
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introduction conclusion
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your position and outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay.
supported main points
Develop your arguments further and provide more specific examples to support your points.
logical structure
Work on enhancing the logical structure of your essay. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Avoid vague statements and focus on providing detailed explanations.
complete response
The essay addresses the topic and provides a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
The attempt to discuss the potential impacts of instant gratification on individuals and society is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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