Today more and more people want things instanlly (eg,… goods, service, news ). Why is this ? It is a positive or negative development?
In the modern era,
people
are becoming more and more busy, thus
there are presence of instant
things. The writer believes that this
is a negative development due to
a lack of perseverance and patience which made people
very reliant on these stuffs. It must be understood that there are many advantages of instant
things in our life. This
is especially so if people
are busy with work or study and need to save their time. Therefore
, this
became increasingly prevalent. For example
with a click of a button people
can easily access the internet, allowing them to update the latest news or send immediate messages. Another argument worth considering is that the instant
result makes people
have a convenient tool. Consequently
the community will become impatient which impacts their concentration. Add a comma
Consequently,
For instance
, according to
an article published in news
in Correct article usage
the news
Viet Nam
in 2019, a survey of many students becoming lazy when they could do research easily on the internet. In my opinion, Correct your spelling
Vietnam
this
development play an important role in people
's lives in future and from that this
can improve residents
lives in many countries and help a lot of Change noun form
residents'
resident's
people
in the country. In conclusion, instant
things can save people
work and study time. However
, those who depend on the benefits can have negative consequences on their personal development.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
The essay includes relevant points about the advantages and disadvantages of instant access to goods, services, and news, demonstrating a basic understanding of the topic. However, the response could be expanded with more detailed arguments and examples to provide a comprehensive analysis. Consider discussing both sides more equally and providing concrete examples for each point.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally clear, and there is an overall structure to the essay. However, the logical flow between paragraphs and within sentences needs improvement. Some points are not fully elaborated and would benefit from more detailed explanations. Transitions between ideas and paragraphs can be made smoother. Use linking words and phrases to show the relationship between ideas clearly.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in structuring your essay. However, the introduction should better outline the specific points you will discuss, and the conclusion can be strengthened by summarizing the key points more clearly and decisively.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is supported by relevant specific examples and detailed explanations. This will help to demonstrate the significance of your arguments and make your essay more persuasive. Using more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures can also enhance the clarity and depth of your ideas.
task achievement
You manage to address both the positive and negative aspects of instant access, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
You provide an introduction and a conclusion, which is essential for a well-structured essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear overall structure, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion