IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

#nations #countries #relief #disasters
Developed nations are obliged to provide humanitarian aid to undeveloped
countries
 when there is a catastrophe caused naturally. I agree with
this
 opinion because these undeveloped
countries
 do not have as far as developed
countries
 advanced technologies and resources to deal with
this
 emergency. It is the moral obligation of any human being to assist those who need immediate assistance.
Firstly
 most developing
countries
 do not have all the cutting-edge technology and devices required to operate in a fast, organized and well-managed system in order to save as many lives as possible.
For instance
, Palestine needs
Correct article usage
the Europe
show examples
Europe Community
Correct your spelling
European community
show examples
 and Operations to survive the attacks of Israel.
Hence
,
European
Correct article usage
the European
show examples
 Community extended its hands to rescue and evacuate those Palestine people who were stuck under all those disasters.
On the other hand
, we all have a moral obligation to help our fellow mankind on difficult occasions.
Therefore
, advanced
countries
 must offer their help to helpless people in any case of disaster despite the border field limitation and culture.
For example
, despite many
countries
 belonging to the UNO
declared
Wrong verb form
declaring
show examples
 neutrality toward the war, they are still helping Palestine with humanitarian relief. In conclusion, it is the duty of developed and advanced
countries
 to help undeveloped
countries
 out in extremely difficult
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.
Submitted by agostinoninonem on

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task achievement
Ensure your ideas are fully developed in each paragraph. Consider expanding on each point with more examples and explanations to add depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Watch for minor grammatical errors and sentence structure issues. Proofreading can help improve the clarity and fluidity of your writing.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively introduced your viewpoint and provided a clear conclusion which summarizes your opinion.
task achievement
Your examples, particularly the reference to the European Community’s aid to Palestine, are relevant and help illustrate your points well.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Humanitarian relief
  • Infrastructure
  • Global solidarity
  • Disproportionately
  • External assistance
  • Rebuilding efforts
  • Disaster response
  • Investment in stability
  • Dependency theory
  • Responsible intervention
  • Paternalistic
  • Shared humanity
  • Sovereignty
  • Capabilities
  • Fatality rates
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