In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time jobs while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teenagers working outweigh the disadvantages
In today's era, every particular household has its own electronic item like a
computer
. Having a computer
carries lots of advantages , children can easily access knowledge about the world through Artificial Intelligence (AI). Besides
that numerous teenagers also
misuse computers by playing games and chatting. In this
essay, I will examine the benefits and drawbacks of using computers and provide an eligible conclusion.
Nowadays, having a computer
is very common in every household. Many parents purchase a computer
so their child
can access new technology and be updated about current situations around the world and with that their children and learn new Fix the agreement mistake
children
things
. In today's generation, several teenagers are engaged in learning about (AI) which can benefit them future and will kept updated. For example
, in recent times one news
came in front of everyone that a woman was visiting every doctor to get good treatment for his Correct quantifier usage
piece of news
child
but the astonishing thing was that no doctor was able to detect which kind of problem her child
was going through, but when that woman wrote the things
which her child
was going through AI detected the problem also
provide a solution even the shocking thing was that her child
become
fit after a month. AI has made every Change the verb form
becomes
child
's life uncomplicated with the help of (AI) they can learn things
easily, furthermore
, AI has given them the opportunity to complete their homework, college assignments and many more things
without any difficulties.
In addition
, there are also
some other kinds of children who have chosen to misuse new technology. Their parent gets them a computer
so with
that they can gain new knowledge Change preposition
apply
instead
of
Change preposition
apply
that
they prefer to play games with their friends Correct word choice
apply
also
they are busy chatting whole
which has ruined their routine Correct word choice
apply
also
they are scoring low in exams.
In conclusion, in today's era, many people own a computer
in their house, numerous
students use computers to gain knowledge and be updated with the current scenario, Correct word choice
and numerous
However
, few of the student
misuse the technology by being active in games and chatting.Fix the agreement mistake
students
Submitted by tushalk329
on
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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but make sure to directly address the essay prompt more explicitly to ensure you stay on topic.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, try to develop them further with more detailed examples and explanations to fully address the task.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are consistently supported by relevant examples and evidence to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between paragraphs to enhance coherence. Transitions between ideas and sections can be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Rephrase some sentences for clarity and conciseness. This will help in making your points more impactful.
coherence cohesion
The essay should maintain a formal tone throughout. Avoid using conversational language or overly casual phrases.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets the context for the essay, making it easy for the reader to understand your perspective.
task achievement
You have included some relevant examples, such as the use of AI in healthcare, which illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that summarizes the key points discussed in the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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