Some young people are sent to prison for minor crimes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such imprisonment?

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Some minor

offenes

Correct your spelling

offences

are punishable by prison terms. In modern times, the protection of human rights has become an important concept in the world, which is the reason for the stricter laws. In my opinion, strict law enforcement is good but sentencing young

people

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to prison for minor offenses may be very harsh. The advantages and disadvantages of

this

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argument will be thoroughly analysed and discussed in

this

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essay before drawing a conclusion.

Firstly

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, on the plus side of

this

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topic, regardless of the severity of the crime, isolating the offender from society can help the offender become aware of his or her role and deter reoffending.

For instance

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, there was a violation where a person was sentenced to imprisonment for one month for insulting others in a public place in

real

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a real

the real

show examples

case.

In addition

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to isolating the perpetrators from society, they should be given employment

that is

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usefull

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useful

to the community and contribute even a little to the development of the country. There are two sides to everything, there are pros, but we can't ignore the cons. In the next section will discuss the disadvantages of the above topic. Specifically,

inccarcerting

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incarcerating

young

people

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when they commit a crime can leave a dark mark on their fond memories of youth.

For example

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, some movies or dramas are set in prisons and life in prisons is not portrayed very well and has very sad

moment

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moments

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Furthemore

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Furthermore

, as

for

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far

show examples

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

life

concerned

Add a missing verb

is concerned

show examples

time is more than important

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above

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apply

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all things. To summarise,

people

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can be made aware of their guilt by

to require

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requiring

show examples

them to participate in a charity

cambaign

Correct your spelling

campaign

instead

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of punishing to require them with jail time for minor crimes. What is more, a comparison of the pros and cons of the above statement shows considerable advantages,

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however

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however,

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it is clear that

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incarcerating young

people

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is not the best way to improve the future.

Submitted by bahyterkegl on Wed May 15 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great. However, the conclusion could be made stronger by summarizing the main points more effectively and offering a more definitive stance. Consider adding more depth to your summary to show a comprehensive understanding.

logical structure

There are a few grammatical and lexical errors throughout the essay, such as 'inccarcerting' instead of 'incarcerating' and 'as for as human's life concerned.' Make sure to proofread your essay to correct these mistakes, as they can disrupt the flow of your ideas.

supported main points

You have provided some relevant examples, like the public insult case, which help to illustrate your points. However, these examples could be more detailed and specific to make your arguments stronger. Try to include more concrete examples and develop them further.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are generally clear, but some parts of the essay could benefit from better organization and clearer transitions. For example, the transition between discussing the benefits and the drawbacks could be smoother. Make sure each paragraph flows logically into the next.

complete response

The essay addresses the task well by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of imprisoning young people for minor crimes. However, the analysis could be more balanced, with more in-depth discussion on how each point supports or detracts from the main argument.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction provides a clear statement of the topic and sets the context well. This helps to immediately engage the reader and set up the structure of the essay.

complete response

You have managed to present a balanced view by discussing both the pros and cons of the topic. This demonstrates your ability to see an issue from multiple perspectives.

supported main points

Your main points are distinct and relevant to the topic. This helps to maintain the focus of the essay and keeps the discussion on track.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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