Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can't afford. What are the reasons of this behavior? What actions can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?
Income has an integral part in life expectancy. It is,
therefore
, not surprising to see how it has caused a controversy among people
about the main reason of
buying new Change preposition
for
staff
they don’t need and can’t afford. Some Correct your spelling
stuff
people
think about
that popular culture is the fundamental reason Change preposition
apply
of
Change preposition
for
this
problem
and it can be solved by balancing between wants and needs.
Social media is a bedrock of society and directly affects our lives. Advertisements which are a part of social media are influence
our insecurities, worries, and weaknesses. Change the verb form
influence
For instance
, the main target of influencers is to make people
to
buy something even if they do not need it Change the verb form
apply
such
as make-up tools. It is clear that
we are social creatures, and, being loved, respected and approved has a crucial impact on relationships and social life balance. Popular culture leads people
to buy fashionable and useless tools like Stanley quencher
for each colour. Capitalize word
Quencher
Therefore
, some people
buy so many things without considering the consequences.
To begin
to tackle this
situation, costumers
need to focus on balancing between wants and needs. It is important that Correct your spelling
customers
being
Wrong verb form
be
awareness
Replace the word
aware
about
the Change preposition
of
problem
. It is clear that
accepting the problem
is the first step and understanding the social media dynamics plays a significant role in this
subject. Therefore
, focusing in
human Change preposition
on
phycology
will help to Correct your spelling
psychology
understanding
mental Change the verb form
understand
strengthen
and buying motivation. Replace the word
strength
For instance
, over shopping
is like a meditation for some Add a hyphen
over-shopping
people
to overcoming
from problems. Change the form of the verb
overcome
Also
, it is highly helpful as recognise not only wants and needs but also
spoil ourselves buy wants from time to time.
To sum up
, people
have a totally different perspective about
Change preposition
on
this
matter. Nevertheless
, when everything is taken into account, I believe that popular culture is the fundamental problem
of over
shopping and it can be solved by Change preposition
apply
balanced
approach between wants and needs.Correct article usage
a balanced
Submitted by emiretatli7 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your essay provides a somewhat complete response to the prompt, addressing both the reasons behind the given behavior and suggesting actions to curb it. However, further elaboration and depth in explanation would strengthen your argument. Try to provide more specific reasons and solutions next time.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, a more logical flow of ideas would improve coherence. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly from one to the next. For example, try to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, enhance your use of linking words and phrases. This will help connect ideas within paragraphs more effectively. Review paragraphs to ensure each contains one primary idea that is well-supported by details and examples.
task response
Your essay clearly identifies popular culture, especially social media, as a reason for people buying things they don’t need. This shows a good understanding of societal influences.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a structured beginning and end to your argument.
task response
You provide specific examples, such as influencers promoting unnecessary items and fashionable yet useless tools, which strengthens the relevance of your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?