Some people believe that watching television is bad for children. Other people believe that watching television is educational for children. Which opinion do you agree with and why?
Some people think watching
TV
is good for kids
, while
others believe it's bad for their upbringing. Watching TV
can hurt their social skills, but it's also
a way to learn about societal norms.
There are different opinions on this
. According to
a TBS company survey in Japan, they compared kids
aged 6 to 10 who watch a lot of TV
(Group
A) with those who don't (Group
B). The kids
in Group
A had poorer communication skills and less physical strength than those in Group
B. This
difference is a significant issue we need to consider.
On the other hand
, some people think TV
is a great educational tool. These days, TV
offers various programs like English learning shows and cultural channels. Plus, modern TVs allow kids
to interact with shows in real-time
via social media. Correct your spelling
real time
This
way, kids
don't feel lonely when their parents are at work.
In conclusion, while
watching TV
can help kids
learn about making friends and communicating, it also
has several drawbacks for their development.Submitted by [email protected]
on
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task achievement
To improve your task achievement score, provide more specific examples and details supporting your argument. For instance, instead of general statements, include specific instances where television has been proven educational or detrimental.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Try using more transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument smoothly. Phrases like 'Moreover,' 'However,' or 'In contrast' can help achieve this.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, which helps frame your argument effectively. This is crucial in providing a strong foundation for your essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument and have given your opinion, meeting the task requirements well.
task achievement
You provided a real-life example from a survey conducted in Japan, which strengthens your argument and makes it more credible.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?