SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE INTERNET IS RESPONSIBLE FOR DESTROYING SOCIAL SKILLS OF TEENAGERS AND YOUNG ADULTS. WHY DO YOU THINK THE INTERNET IS SEEN AS DANGEROUS IN THIS WAY AND WHAT CAN WE DO TO ENSURE THAT IT DOES NOT HARM THE SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT OF TEENAGERS AND YOUNG ADULTS.

A controversial belief has arisen about the negative consequences of relying on the
internet
, and many
people
believe that it affects many social skills of teenagers. In
this
report, I will go through the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
that, and
then
I will present some solutions.
To begin
with, the
internet
is extremely dangerous because teenagers adapted to
the
Change the word
its
show examples
use of it and they made a whole community for themselves on it. For
further
explanation, nowadays, many
people
avoid communicating face-to-face and,
instead
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, they rely on the
internet
to work, communicate with relatives, and build relationships;
as a result
, they do not connect with
their
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the
show examples
real world.
In other words
, they decided to run away from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality and to live in a fake community.
Additionally
,
this
lifestyle leads to losing individuals' identities because of being with a variety of
people
from different nationalities. To illustrate that, many reports show that teenagers follow what they like, so a lot of them decide to forget their own culture and
to
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apply
show examples
copy other cultures that they like more;
therefore
, a lot of nations are losing their own traditions because of
this
development.
Moreover
, there are many solutions for
this
, and prevention is better than treatment. For
further
explanation, introducing a rule that prevents using mobile phones when the person is with a band is a helpful solution.
For example
, in KSA, pupils cannot use their phones in their schools;
as a consequence
, they have to communicate with their peers and
this
improved
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
their social skills.
Besides
that, using cell phones for a limited time is another ideal solution, and many
people
acknowledge that they depend on
this
method in order to balance between their real world and their online relationships. In conclusion,
although
the
internet
is helpful, entertaining, useful, and
joydul
Correct your spelling
joyful
, it leads to many issues;
hence
, reducing the usage of the
internet
is an ideal way to avoid these problems.
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clear comprehensive ideas
While the essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides a comprehensive response, some sentences could be formulated more clearly. For example, the use of 'adapted to the use of it' could be rephrased for clarity. Consistently clarify your ideas to ensure smooth comprehension.
relevant specific examples
You could improve the essay by including more specific examples and evidence to support your claims. While the overall arguments are strong, more detailed examples would enhance your points and make your essay more persuasive.
logical structure
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that transitions between ideas are smooth and logical. Using cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' and 'therefore', can help connect your points more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument effectively.
complete response
The essay does a good job providing a complete response to the prompt, covering both the dangers of the internet and potential solutions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Isolation
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Cyberbullying
  • Anonymity
  • Harassment
  • Social media
  • Superficial relationships
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Communication skills
  • Virtual validation
  • Self-esteem
  • Online communities
  • Parental guidance
  • Digital literacy
  • Awareness programs
  • Constructive use
  • Setting boundaries
  • Social development
  • Meaningful connections
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