SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THE INTERNET IS RESPONSIBLE FOR DESTROYING SOCIAL SKILLS OF TEENAGERS AND YOUNG ADULTS. WHY DO YOU THINK THE INTERNET IS SEEN AS DANGEROUS IN THIS WAY AND WHAT CAN WE DO TO ENSURE THAT IT DOES NOT HARM THE SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT OF TEENAGERS AND YOUNG ADULTS.

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A controversial belief has arisen about the negative consequences of relying on the
internet
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, and many
people
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believe that it affects many social skills of teenagers. In
this
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report, I will go through the reasons
of
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for
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that, and
then
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I will present some solutions.
To begin
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with, the
internet
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is extremely dangerous because teenagers adapted to
the
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its
show examples
use of it and they made a whole community for themselves on it. For
further
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explanation, nowadays, many
people
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avoid communicating face-to-face and,
instead
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of
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apply
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that
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apply
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, they rely on the
internet
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to work, communicate with relatives, and build relationships;
as a result
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, they do not connect with
their
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the
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real world.
In other words
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, they decided to run away from
the
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apply
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reality and to live in a fake community.
Additionally
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,
this
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lifestyle leads to losing individuals' identities because of being with a variety of
people
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from different nationalities. To illustrate that, many reports show that teenagers follow what they like, so a lot of them decide to forget their own culture and
to
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apply
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copy other cultures that they like more;
therefore
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, a lot of nations are losing their own traditions because of
this
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development.
Moreover
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, there are many solutions for
this
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, and prevention is better than treatment. For
further
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explanation, introducing a rule that prevents using mobile phones when the person is with a band is a helpful solution.
For example
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, in KSA, pupils cannot use their phones in their schools;
as a consequence
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, they have to communicate with their peers and
this
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improved
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improves
show examples
their social skills.
Besides
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that, using cell phones for a limited time is another ideal solution, and many
people
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acknowledge that they depend on
this
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method in order to balance between their real world and their online relationships. In conclusion,
although
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the
internet
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is helpful, entertaining, useful, and
joydul
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joyful
, it leads to many issues;
hence
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, reducing the usage of the
internet
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is an ideal way to avoid these problems.
Submitted by haneenalnetaif on

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clear comprehensive ideas
While the essay effectively addresses the prompt and provides a comprehensive response, some sentences could be formulated more clearly. For example, the use of 'adapted to the use of it' could be rephrased for clarity. Consistently clarify your ideas to ensure smooth comprehension.
relevant specific examples
You could improve the essay by including more specific examples and evidence to support your claims. While the overall arguments are strong, more detailed examples would enhance your points and make your essay more persuasive.
logical structure
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that transitions between ideas are smooth and logical. Using cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' and 'therefore', can help connect your points more effectively.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument effectively.
complete response
The essay does a good job providing a complete response to the prompt, covering both the dangers of the internet and potential solutions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Isolation
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Cyberbullying
  • Anonymity
  • Harassment
  • Social media
  • Superficial relationships
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Communication skills
  • Virtual validation
  • Self-esteem
  • Online communities
  • Parental guidance
  • Digital literacy
  • Awareness programs
  • Constructive use
  • Setting boundaries
  • Social development
  • Meaningful connections
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