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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the proportions of
time
Use synonyms
 spent by elderly people in the US for the period from the 1980s to 2010s on different activities.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that only the
time
Use synonyms
 spent in theatres decreased
while
Linking Words
 for reading, hiking, watching
TV
Use synonyms
, and surfing the internet, it increased.
Additionally
Linking Words
, watching
TV
Use synonyms
 was the most popular activity until it was replaced by hiking in the 2000s. Regarding the graph,
while
Linking Words
 the
time
Use synonyms
 spent on hiking rose dramatically from one to four-fifths during the given period, figures for surfing the internet grew slowly from around 5 in the 1980s to above 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the 2000s after which they rocketed to 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. The proportion of the
time
Use synonyms
 spent on reading was almost a third at the beginning and after hitting a low of 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the 2000s, sharply climbed to 60
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the 2010s.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, changes in
time
Use synonyms
 spent on watching
TV
Use synonyms
 and theatre were less dramatic. Figures for watching
TV
Use synonyms
 rose slowly from 60
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the 1980s and after reaching a peak of 70
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the 2000s, decreased at the same pace to around two-thirds. The
time
Use synonyms
 spent in theatres fell by about 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
overall
Linking Words
, touching the lowest point of 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the 1990s.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, tv, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
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