Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In modern society, interest in

sports

Use synonyms

has increased by

citizens

Use synonyms

not only for global Olympic

sports

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

for daily exercising. There are some

people

Use synonyms

who have claimed that the government should provide

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

for ordinary

citizens

Use synonyms

to motivate them to play

sports

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is true;

however

Linking Words

, I

also

Linking Words

understand that the

country

Use synonyms

should invest money in establishing specialized

facilities

Use synonyms

to train capable athletes to promote

countries

Use synonyms

worldwide.

Firstly

Linking Words

, investing money in top athletes can develop and introduce our

countries

Use synonyms

internationally. If a top

sports

Use synonyms

player wins a worldwide

sports

Use synonyms

game like

Olympics

Correct article usage

the Olympics

show examples

or World Cup,

people

Use synonyms

from all over the world will start to pay attention to that

country

Use synonyms

. When players who were sponsored by specialized

facilities

Use synonyms

become popular,

then

Linking Words

they might be able to attract visitors from other

countries

Use synonyms

. What

this

Linking Words

explains is that,

for instance

Linking Words

, Son

heong

Change the capitalization

Heong

show examples

min, who is the most famous soccer player in the world, has developed our

country

Use synonyms

's status. Even though he plays for European

countries

Use synonyms

, making good performances, a lot of

people

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have recognized our

country

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and tried to visit South Korea. For these reasons, I believe investing money to establish special buildings for

sports

Use synonyms

players seems effective at improving

countries

Use synonyms

' profits from travel and other finances.

However

Linking Words

, citizen's authority over

sports

Use synonyms

may be decreased which could be able to detrimental effects on society. If

sports

Use synonyms

centres are extremely geared to improving top athletes,

people

Use synonyms

may not be able to access

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

often as their quality is bad. What I am concerned about is that

this

Linking Words

will discourage

citizens

Use synonyms

from exercising in their daily lives, which can probably affect their health.

Moreover

Linking Words

, not providing

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

citizens

Use synonyms

will deprive their chances to discover

sports

Use synonyms

abilities, especially for young

people

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

, teenagers cannot notice their

sports

Use synonyms

talent if they don't have appropriate space for exercising.

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe

this

Linking Words

can contribute to the social disparity among

citizens

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

I recognize that specialized

sports

Use synonyms

centres will benefit

Change preposition

apply

show examples

not only players but

also

Linking Words

countries

Use synonyms

in many views, I believe providing enough

sports

Use synonyms

buildings for

citizens

Use synonyms

seems imperative for our societal harmony. I wish all

people

Use synonyms

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

access

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

strength

Replace the word

strengthen

show examples

their health and discover their hobbies.

kchengiiThu May 16 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas, but there are some areas where you could be more precise. Try to expand on your ideas more thoroughly to ensure clarity. For example, explain more about how ordinary citizens benefit from general sports facilities.

task achievement

Some of the arguments in your essay need more specific examples and detailed explanations. Including more relevant specific examples can strengthen the points you make. For instance, you could mention more examples of countries or athletes benefiting from specialized facilities.

coherence cohesion

Your essay generally flows well and is logically structured, but there is room for improvement in terms of the logical progression of ideas. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that all points build logically on each other.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and a good conclusion, but you could add more to your conclusion to effectively summarize the points made in the essay. A stronger conclusion will leave a lasting impression on the reader.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear and logical structure to your essay, making it easy to follow your arguments. Each paragraph addresses a distinct point, which helps in maintaining coherence.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly presents the issue and your position, which sets up the reader for what to expect in the essay.

task achievement

You support your main points with relevant examples, such as mentioning Son Heung-min, which helps to illustrate your arguments.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

372 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

international success
specialized facilities
top athletes
sports facilities
positive development
negative development
excellence in sports
lack of access
general public
international sports events
unequal distribution
resources
inspire
motivate
aspiring athletes
neglecting
areas of development
contribute to
economy
excessive focus

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A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a spurce of problems if it is not well-managed. what are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?

SOME BELIEVE THAT UNPAID COMMUNITY SERVICE SHOULD BE A COMPULSORY PART OF HIGH SCHOOL PROGRAMMER (FOR EXAMPLE WORKING FOR A CHARITY, IMPROVING THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND TEACHING SPORTS TO YOUNGER CHILDREN). TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?