The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.
The bar chart shows the proportion of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
males and females
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
been successful in passing their driver's test between 1980 and 2010 in one Asian Country.
Submitted by atulbhujbal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Add some linking words.
Linking words: Add linking words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: