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Band 4.5

The process below shows the procedure through which smoked fish are prepared.

#process #procedure #fish
The flow chart illustrates the procedure through which smoked
fish
 are prepared.
Overall
, there are 13 stages in the whole smoked
fish producing
Add a hyphen
fish-producing
show examples
 process, beginning with catching
fish
 to freeze, followed by preparing them to smoke, and
lastly
 smoking and storing them to sell.
To begin
, fishermen provide
fishfrom
Correct your spelling
fish from
 the sea and carry them to the port by boat.
This
 is followed by, putting the
fish
 into a freezer, before thawing them in fresh water. Once
this
 step is complete, thawed
fish
 are cut using a knife, after which they are waited in salt water to make them yellow in colour. In the stage
after
this
, the
fishare
Correct your spelling
fish are
 smoked through the use of a barbecue,
following
this
, the smoked
fish
 are packed and for
this
 step, square-shaped boxes are used.
After
this
, the packed smoked
fish
 are frozen at the temperature of 0 degrees and they are stored in a cold store. Over the course of the next step, the
fish
 are loaded in a truck to distribute to
fish
 shops and ultimately, they are ready to sell.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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general
Watch out for minor typos and spacing issues, such as "fishfrom" and "fishare". These small errors can detract from the overall readability.
general
Consider varying your sentence structure to include more complex and compound sentences to improve the overall fluency of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear, but consider making the purpose of the essay even more explicit by briefly mentioning what the reader can expect in the subsequent sections.
complete response
The essay effectively describes the entire process of preparing smoked fish, covering all the stages from catching to selling.
logical structure
The use of transitional phrases like "To begin," "Once this step is complete," and "Over the course of the next step" helps in maintaining a logical flow of information.
supported main points
The partitioning of the process into individual steps makes it easier to follow and understand, thereby enhancing clarity and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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