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Band 4

The diagrams are the existing and proposed floor plans for the redevelopment of an art gallery.

#diagrams #floor #plans #redevelopment #art #gallery
The given plans illustrate the blueprints at the moment and in the future for the renovation of an art gallery.
Overall
, if the proposal
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 gone through, the
exhibition
 space will be opened up with the entrance which make every part of the building accessible.
Additionally
, the education space will be constructed, replacing the lobby and office for the didactic purpose. From the entrance, there is a lobby and an office which will be altered by an education area with a store beside.
Moreover
, now, in the central area of the building, there are two temporary exhibitions and a permanent one,
then
 they will be merged into the large permanent
exhibition
 area, not only the space will be more
opened
Replace the word
open
show examples
, but the entrance from the East side will
also
 be moved to the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
. Turning towards the part behind the gallery at
first,
it
then
 will have a door connected to the
exhibition
 and become the special
exhibition
 room.
In addition
, there will be a store for shopping
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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grammar
Some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing weaken the clarity of your report. Consider revising sentences for better grammatical accuracy and fluidity.
coherence
Improve the coherence of your essay by ensuring a smooth transition between points. This makes the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
It's essential to be precise in describing changes. Ensure that you mention all significant alterations clearly and concisely.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear overall description of the changes in the floor plans.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear beginning and end to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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