The diagrams are the existing and proposed floor plans for the redevelopment of an art gallery.

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The given plans illustrate the blueprints at the moment and in the future for the renovation of an art gallery.
Overall
Linking Words
, if the proposal
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
gone through, the
exhibition
Use synonyms
space will be opened up with the entrance which make every part of the building accessible.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the education space will be constructed, replacing the lobby and office for the didactic purpose. From the entrance, there is a lobby and an office which will be altered by an education area with a store beside.
Moreover
Linking Words
, now, in the central area of the building, there are two temporary exhibitions and a permanent one,
then
Linking Words
they will be merged into the large permanent
exhibition
Use synonyms
area, not only the space will be more
opened
Replace the word
open
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, but the entrance from the East side will
also
Linking Words
be moved to the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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. Turning towards the part behind the gallery at
first,
Linking Words
it
then
Linking Words
will have a door connected to the
exhibition
Use synonyms
and become the special
exhibition
Use synonyms
room.
In addition
Linking Words
, there will be a store for shopping
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
.
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grammar
Some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing weaken the clarity of your report. Consider revising sentences for better grammatical accuracy and fluidity.
coherence
Improve the coherence of your essay by ensuring a smooth transition between points. This makes the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
It's essential to be precise in describing changes. Ensure that you mention all significant alterations clearly and concisely.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear overall description of the changes in the floor plans.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear beginning and end to your essay.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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