Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

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Whether or not individuals are likely to depend on each other is
such
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a controversial argument. The writer believes that people tend to count on each other
due to
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several reasons
such
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as higher productivity and maintaining their networking relationship. Thanks to the development of technology,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humankind in today’s society is exposed to a variety of technological gadgets to
ultilize
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utilise
them in their daily tasks.
However
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, those gadgets are not solely capable
to satisfy
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of satisfying
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human needs in terms of productivity and efficiency.
Therefore
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, human beings begin to break their tasks
in
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into
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small sections and distribute them trustfully to their peers in order to optimize the time taken.
Hence
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, workers can manage to reduce their work time and spend it with their
family
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families
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instead
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.
Nevertheless
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, many critics argue that completing a task solely is more time-effective than working in a group as
they
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it
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can mitigate unnecessary procedures ,
for instance
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, a meeting host or disagreement.
This
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perhaps is true to some extent,
however
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, the author contends that working with other people will foster a sense of connection and belonging, thereby,
enhance
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enhancing
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the quality of the product
as well as
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other social skills,
for example
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, communication and presentation. It must be
acknowleged
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acknowledged
that humans are not designed to live alone on
this
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globe.
As a result
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, we have developed a variety of communication skills
that is
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superior
beyond
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to
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any living
organisms
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organism
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.
Therefore
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, people can take advantage of
this
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networking relationship to accumulate knowledge and experience from experts and seniors.
Consequently
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, complete ourselves and broaden our career opportunities. In conclusion, it is individuals’
benefits
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benefit
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to be dependent on each other as we can alleviate overwork rate and
also
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maintain advantageous
relationship
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relationships
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with others.
Therefore
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, we can develop one’s self and become better in a short term period.
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relevant specific examples
Adding more specific examples would make the argument stronger. Mentioning particular scenarios or studies can enhance the essay's credibility.
logical structure
Focus on ensuring the essay flows smoothly from one point to another. Using connector words and phrases can help achieve this.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to clarify main ideas with stronger topic sentences for each paragraph. This will increase clarity and help in understanding the main points more easily.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure for the reader.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported and explained.
complete response
The essay provides a full response to the task, discussing both perspectives and giving the writer's opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • globalization
  • remote work
  • independence
  • dependency
  • specialization
  • professional services
  • social validation
  • individualism
  • self-reliance
  • collective action
  • sustainability
  • global community
  • navigating
  • complexity
  • environmental movement
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