IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows current health expenditure totals as percentages of GDP* for various European countries for the years 2002, 2007 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows current health expenditure totals as percentages of GDP* for various European countries for the years 2002, 2007 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #health #expenditure #percentages #gdp* #european #countries #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar charts
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 how much money is spent on
health
Use synonyms
 care across Europe and how
this
Linking Words
 spending has changed in the
last
Linking Words
ten
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
 we can see that there was very little difference in
ten
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 in the
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
GDP
Use synonyms
 spent on
health
Use synonyms
 but there was a lot of difference in the
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 spending on
health
Use synonyms
 in different
countries
Use synonyms
. Spending for all
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 was exactly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in four of the
countries
Use synonyms
 with
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 spending one
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 more of
GDP
Use synonyms
 on
health
Use synonyms
 over
ten
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 and four
countries
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 one
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 less.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 was the only country where there was a bigger change and spent one
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 less
GDP
Use synonyms
 every year in the chart. It is
also
Linking Words
 interesting that Belgium Denmark France Norway and Switzerland had
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 percentage
spending
Change preposition
of spending
show examples
 on
health
Use synonyms
 of their
GDP
Use synonyms
 with it
was
Replace the word
being
show examples
 around
ten
Use synonyms
percent
Use synonyms
. Switzerland was the highest at 11
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in all
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 was
considerable
Change the word
considerably
show examples
 more than Estonia at only 3% in all
three
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by srsdy008 on

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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words health, ten, years, percent, gdp, countries, three with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • expenditure
  • percentage
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • comparison
  • notable
  • pattern
  • exceptional
  • deviation
  • neighbouring countries
  • economic policies
  • public health
  • data analysis
  • statistical comparison
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