several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantged background. However, others say that crime is casued by person's nature.
The
casued
of Correct your spelling
causes
crime
is
a heavily studied topic in modern society. Many experts believe that Correct subject-verb agreement
are
crime
is caused by poverty. However
, others believe that crime
is a result of a person
's nature. Extensive research about these causes has not been able to produce a definite answer about the cause
of crime
.
In recent years, as the amount of crime
has increased, many connections have been found between economic poverty and the probability of committing a crime
. For instance
, surveys of prison inmates have found that criminals who come from disadvantaged households are more likely to commiit
crimes to survive. Poor inmates report higher rates of theft and robbery than inmates who were raised in richer Correct your spelling
commit
household
. Fix the agreement mistake
households
This
shows that there is a direct relationship between poverty and crime
.
On the other hand
, another factor that could explain the cause
of crime
is a person
's nature. Many psychologists have posited that a criminal's way of thinking could determine how a person
behaves, which suggests that people are not free to act as they desire. In this
regard, people with certain mindsets would naturally be compelled to commit crime
. Basically, Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
crime
is not a choice, so scientists must study structure
and function of a Correct article usage
the structure
person
's mindset to discover the true cause
of crime
.
In conclusion, these two ideas about the cause
of crime
are both interesting, but since there are many people from economically disadvantaged backgrounds that
do not commit Correct pronoun usage
who
crime
. I believe that it seems more likely that a person
's nature could cause
them to commit crime
.Add an article
a crime
the crime
Submitted by kimjy3329 on
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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task by addressing both sides of the argument about the causes of crime. However, be careful with small errors, such as 'casued' which should be 'cause'. A thorough proofread could help you avoid these mistakes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your main points are logically structured and you have a clear introduction and conclusion. For even better cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
While you have supported your main points with some relevant examples and explanations, consider adding more specific details or statistics to strengthen your argument. Doing so will make your essay more convincing and show a deep understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your essay shows a good balance in addressing both views on the causes of crime, which demonstrates your ability to consider multiple perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes your essay easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.