several people assert that the main cause of crime is an economically disadvantged background. However, others say that crime is casued by person's nature.

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The
casued
Correct your spelling
causes

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of
crime
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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a heavily studied topic in modern society. Many experts believe that
crime
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is caused by poverty.
However
Linking Words

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, others believe that
crime
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is a result of a
person
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's nature. Extensive research about these causes has not been able to produce a definite answer about the
cause
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of
crime
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. In recent years, as the amount of
crime
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has increased, many connections have been found between economic poverty and the probability of committing a
crime
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.
For instance
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, surveys of prison inmates have found that criminals who come from disadvantaged households are more likely to
commiit
Correct your spelling
commit

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crimes to survive. Poor inmates report higher rates of theft and robbery than inmates who were raised in richer
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households

It seems that household may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
This
Linking Words

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shows that there is a direct relationship between poverty and
crime
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words

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, another factor that could explain the
cause
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of
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is a
person
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's nature. Many psychologists have posited that a criminal's way of thinking could determine how a
person
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behaves, which suggests that people are not free to act as they desire. In
this
Linking Words

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regard, people with certain mindsets would naturally be compelled to commit
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crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes

It seems that crime may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Basically,
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is not a choice, so scientists must study
structure
Correct article usage
the structure

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and function of a
person
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's mindset to discover the true
cause
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In conclusion, these two ideas about the
cause
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are both interesting, but since there are many people from economically disadvantaged backgrounds
that
Correct pronoun usage
who

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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do not commit
crime
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I believe that it seems more likely that a
person
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's nature could
cause
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

them to commit
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime

The noun phrase crime seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task by addressing both sides of the argument about the causes of crime. However, be careful with small errors, such as 'casued' which should be 'cause'. A thorough proofread could help you avoid these mistakes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your main points are logically structured and you have a clear introduction and conclusion. For even better cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
While you have supported your main points with some relevant examples and explanations, consider adding more specific details or statistics to strengthen your argument. Doing so will make your essay more convincing and show a deep understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your essay shows a good balance in addressing both views on the causes of crime, which demonstrates your ability to consider multiple perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes your essay easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economically disadvantaged
  • necessities
  • societal factors
  • external circumstances
  • criminal activities
  • intrinsic characteristics
  • personality traits
  • moral beliefs
  • psychological conditions
  • predisposed
  • personal choice
  • responsibility
  • profound impact
  • circumstances
  • attributes
  • behavior
What to do next:
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