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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the electricity generated in Germany and France from all sources and renewables in the year 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #electricity #germany #france #sources #renewables #year #information #features #comparisons
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The provided pie charts
compares
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compare
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 the
portion
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 of produced
electricity
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 from different types of fountainheads and
renewables
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 in Germany and
France
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 in the year 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
portion
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 of the
source
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 which
electrecity
Correct your spelling
electricity
 was generated by belonged to conventional thermal in Germany and was nuclear in
France
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,
also
Linking Words
, used
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renewables
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renewable
show examples
sources
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 for
electricity
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 generation in Germany was more than in
France
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. It is clear from the illustrations
about
Correct pronoun usage
that about
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 60 per
cent
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 of
electricity
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 energy was generated by conventional thermal and just below a quarter of that was produced by nuclear
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source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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. the proportion of
renewables
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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utilized to produce
electricity
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 energy was 17.4 per
cent
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that
Correct word choice
and
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 the highest
portion
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 of that belonged to biomass and wind
sources
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by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
39.3 and 36.9 per
cent
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, respectively. About 17 per
cent
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 of
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renewables
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renewable
show examples
sources
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 hydroelectric to produce
electricity
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 and the proportion of solar
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source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 was negligible. In
France
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, nuclear was the main
source
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 to generate
electricity
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by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
76 per
cent
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 and
used
Verb problem
apply
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conventional thermal
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source
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sources
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 was
minor
Correct article usage
a minor
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fractio
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fraction
.
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Renewables
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Renewable
show examples
sources
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 that
used
Add a missing verb
were used
show examples
 for generating
electricity
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 13.7 per
cent
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.
The
Correct article usage
A
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 significant
portion
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 of that belonged to hydroelectric
by
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apply
show examples
about 80 per
cent
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. Other renewable
sources
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was
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were
show examples
 negligible in
comarison
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with hydroelectric
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source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
.
Submitted by hadadianmohamadhossein on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words portion, electricity, renewables, france, source, sources, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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