There are millions of vehicles on the road nowadays, and the number is predicted to increase in the future. Many argue that alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Last
decades
Fix the agreement mistake
decade
transports
amount Correct subject-verb agreement
transport
rise
day by day and it is estimated the number to go up in the future.
Some consider that other forms of transportation should be improved and the Replace the word
risen
governement
should control Correct your spelling
government
car
ownership. Personally, I agree with former
statement and in Add an article
the former
this
essay
I will explain my point of view.
Add a comma
essay,
On the other hand
, people buy car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
for
Change preposition
to
redusing
time spent on the way. But it does not help them to save Correct your spelling
reducing
their
time, Correct pronoun usage
apply
on the contrary
, people stay a
long hours on the way during going to work and returning back Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
to
home. It would be better to use alternative vehicles to restrict traffic Change preposition
apply
conjuction
. Correct your spelling
congestion
For instance
, in our city
individuals prefer to go to work by subway or by Add a comma
city,
bycle
. It Correct your spelling
bicycle
help
them to protect Change the verb form
helps
environment
and their Add an article
the environment
helth
.
Correct your spelling
health
On the other hand
, too many car
cause Fix the agreement mistake
cars
to
accidents on the roads. Change preposition
apply
Government
should Correct article usage
The government
strengh low
. Correct your spelling
strengthen the law
For example
, in city centres cars entrance
have to Fix the agreement mistake
car entrances
Add a missing verb
be restricded
restricded
. Correct your spelling
restricted
Furthermore
, if person's
Correct article usage
a person's
car
is too old he should pay taxes for usage
Correct article usage
the usage
his
Change preposition
of his
car
. Because,
old Remove the comma
apply
car
emit
more carbon dioxide. Change the verb form
emits
In addition
, it is not essencial
for all family members to drive Correct your spelling
essential
car
. It is said that more Add an article
a car
the car
car
, more Fix the agreement mistake
cars
pollutin
.
Correct your spelling
pollution
polluting
To sum
up
all mentioned above, people should use alternative transport for Add a comma
up,
redusing
Correct your spelling
reducing
car
jump
and Fix the agreement mistake
jumps
car
crash
. Fix the agreement mistake
crashes
Additionally
, government
should adjust Add an article
the government
car
usage.Submitted by nargiz.nagiyeva0101 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay needs more clarity and development in its main points. Ensure each paragraph clearly supports your argument with concrete examples and clear explanations.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating paragraphs that flow seamlessly from one to another. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas more coherently.
coherence cohesion
There's a need for a better introduction. It should briefly mention both sides of the argument, even if you predominantly agree with one side. Also, the conclusion should briefly recap the main points discussed.
language
Grammatical errors and typos distract the reader and sometimes make the meaning unclear. Pay closer attention to grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.
language
Some parts of the essay seem repetitive. Aim for a broader range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
task achievement
The writer has expressed their viewpoint and attempted to support it with reasons, which is a good start.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion, which is important for the structure.
task achievement
The writer attempts to use examples, such as in the paragraph about people using the subway and bicycles in the city. Specific examples strengthen arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!