IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Traffic congestion is a continuous and growing problem in major cities. Some people recommend enforcing peak-hour tolls to cut back on the amount of cars using major commuting roads during rush hours. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this proposed solution?

#traffic #congestion #cities #people #peak-hour #tolls #amount #cars #roads #rush #hours
Traffic
 congestion is one of the major issues in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tier-1 cities which is substantially growing. A
lot
 of
people
 have suggested
to introduce
Change the verb form
introducing
show examples
 peak-hour
toll
Fix the agreement mistake
tolls
show examples
 to curb
this
 issue completely. I will be discussing the advantages and disadvantages of
this
 issue, in my essay. To start with,
traffic
 jams are one of the biggest problems tier-1 cities are facing. It is so problematic that even
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 is struggling hard to
erradicate
Correct your spelling
eradicate
 it from
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 roots.
Traffice
Correct your spelling
Traffic
 jam is a serious problem, school students have to spend
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travelling same goes
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
 going population. The time to commute has gone up drastically and
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
people
 are now spending time on roads stuck in
traffic
. In case of
medical
Add an article
a medical
show examples
 emergency, it becomes very difficult to pass the congested area, and
as a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 the patient has to suffer.
Moreover
, peak hour tolls can give some relief, but with
growing
Add an article
a growing
the growing
show examples
 population of India, the focus should be on convincing
people
 to use public transport to large extent.
For instance
, Singapore has
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
 discount for
people
 who
travels
Change the verb form
travel
show examples
 before the peak hours, the price of the metro rail ticket
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will be half of
actual
Correct article usage
the actual
show examples
 price and
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of
people
takes
Correct subject-verb agreement
take
show examples
 advantage of
this
 scheme. Another instance where
Singapore
Correct article usage
the Singapore
show examples
 government
has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
imposed high taxes on privately owned
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
, so
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
 less affordable, which is not only good
to tackle
Change preposition
for tackling
show examples
 the problem of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
 but
also
 very helpful in saving the environment from pollution.
To conclude
, I would say that peak hour toll is just one option and we should focus more on improving the ways to tackle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
 congestion so that even poor
people
 can afford to travel.
Submitted by neelima.sharma60 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples, statistics, or evidence to back up your points. This will strengthen your argument and give a clearer picture to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetitive language. For instance, 'tier-1 cities' is used several times. Consider using synonyms or rephrasing to make the essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You addressed both advantages and disadvantages of the proposed solution, which shows a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • peak-hour tolls
  • rush hours
  • commuting roads
  • drivers
  • volume of traffic
  • revenue generation
  • public transportation
  • road congestion
  • economic impact
  • lower-income individuals
  • shifted congestion
  • implementation costs
  • electronic toll collection
  • infrastructure funding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: