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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The provided line graph shows the statistics of closed
shops
Use synonyms
 and new
shops
Use synonyms
 in a certain country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of new
shops
Use synonyms
 reached the highest point in 2011 at 8,500
shops
Use synonyms
, meanwhile, the figure of closed
shops
Use synonyms
 was at the bottom position in 2015 at 500
shops
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the number of new
shops
Use synonyms
 fluctuated during the given period.
In addition
Linking Words
, it significantly dropped from 8,500
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2011 to 4,000
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2012, and
then
Linking Words
 it rose to 6,000
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2014. After that, it decreased to 4,000
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2015 and remained stable until 2017.
Finally
Linking Words
, it slightly declined to 3,000
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the figure for closed
shops
Use synonyms
 dramatically went down from 6,500
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2014 to 500
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
However
Linking Words
, it rapidly got back to the normal level of 5,000
shops
Use synonyms
 in 2016. Later, it remained constant until 2018.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words shops with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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