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Writing Samples
Band 5

the chart shows the proportion of people in a UK survey carried out in three different years who said they were interested in certain sports.

the chart shows the proportion of people in a UK survey carried out in three different years who said they were interested in certain sports.
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Depicted in the line chart
are
Change the verb form
is
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 the percentage of
peoples’
Correct your spelling
people’s
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 enthusiasm for particular
sports
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 based on a survey from 1995 to 2005 in six
sports
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 namely;
foot
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, swim, rugby, snooker, tennis, and
golf
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. In general, it can be clearly observed that the most common people choose
foot
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sports
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. Meanwhile, the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 percentage was recorded in
golf
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. On the one hand, there experienced an upward trend in the level of people choosing
foot
Use synonyms
,
swim
Wrong verb form
swimming
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, and rugby during the
throughout
Change preposition
apply
show examples
periods shown.
For example
Linking Words
, starting at 42% In 1995, the level of
foot
Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
 rose slightly to 3% more in the
last
Linking Words
 years. Swim and Rugby had a similar trend, which reached 27%.
However
Linking Words
, swimming reached a peak of almost 30% in 2000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, snooker, tennis and
golf
Use synonyms
 had a downward trend during the same time period.
In
Change the preposition
At
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 the beginning of the year, around less than 30% of snooker’s and tennis proportions declined
dramtically
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 to around 23% by the end of the period. Meanwhile,
golf
Use synonyms
 only decreased by around 3% from 18% in 1995.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sports, foot, golf with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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