The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 - 2014

The graph below shows the annual visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries for the years 1996 - 2014
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
What has been depicted in the line chart is the
amount
Use synonyms
of expenditure by visitors from five different countries to New Zealand in separate years,1996 and 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
amount
Use synonyms
of expenditure in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia ranked
first,
Linking Words
while
Linking Words
that of China stood at the
last
Linking Words
in the
amount
Use synonyms
allocated.
Moreover
Linking Words
, despite an upward
trends
Correct the article-noun agreement
trend
show examples
in most countries over the given period, Japan remained unchanged. The
amount
Use synonyms
of money
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
paid by Australia in the first decade
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gradual increase, starting at 1000, and finishing at 2500, which was the highest value among other nations, and
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
next 8 years, it  moderately decreased, which was at 2000 in 2014,
follow
Change the form of the verb
followed
show examples
by USA started at almost 800, and in 2010 it had the highest portion (1700 ), and it witnessed
a
Change the article
an
show examples
approximately 500 reduction at the  end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, by 2004, the
amount
Use synonyms
of money spent on China had minimally risen (500), which was the highest value in its entire range, and
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
following 10 years, it a slow declined. Both Japan and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom had the same exact number as in the beginning, which was just below 500. Both of them followed an opposite pattern to each other from 1996 to 2006, and they reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 800 in 2007, after which the UK continued to rise and stood at
nearl
Correct your spelling
nearly
near
1200
at the end
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
the UK dropped slightly and reached 600 in 2014.
Submitted by hongminh317 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • annual expenditure
  • tourism revenue
  • spending trends
  • economic impact
  • visitor spend
  • tourism sector
  • peak spending
  • fluctuations
  • incline/decline in spending
  • monetary contribution
  • tourist demographics
  • economic conditions
  • tourism campaigns
  • statistical analysis
  • data interpretation
  • fiscal year
  • extrapolate data
  • spending patterns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: