IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

CYCLISTS AND CAR DRIVERS TODAY SHARE THE SAME ROAD CAUSE SOME PROBLEMS. WHAT ARE THE PROBLEMS? WHAT CAN BE DONE TO REDUCE THESE PROBLEMS?

#cyclists #car #drivers #road
Two
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Two-wheeler
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wheeler
 and
four
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four-wheeler
show examples
wheeler
 vehicles share the same path leads to different issues
specially
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especially
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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urban areas. It causes
a
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apply
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heavy traffic congestion and because of that people get frustrated and it leads them to a serious fight and
arguements
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arguments
. There are many
problems
occur
Correct pronoun usage
that occur
show examples
 when
cyclists
 and car drivers share the same route
for
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to
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 their destination.
Firstly
,
due to
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apply
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traffic jams and
honking
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the honking
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 of horns,
it
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apply
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spreads
Wrong verb form
spread
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the
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apply
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air pollution and noise pollution which harms our environment. Sometimes people
also
 get stressed and frustrated. When
cyclists
 and
four
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four-wheeler
show examples
wheeler
 vehicles share the same direction, it
also
 results in more accidents because of the breadth of the
roads
.
Roads
 are constructed in a way where
cyclists
 and car drivers
both
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apply
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cannot ride their vehicles together, it is very congested and
frustrated
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frustrating
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 for
both
the
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apply
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parties. To overcome these
problems
, I think the Government can work in
number
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a number
the number
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 of ways.
Firstly
, Authorities can construct the
roads
 in a broad way manner where two
wheeler
Change to a plural noun
wheelers
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 and four
wheeler
Change to a plural noun
wheelers
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 can be
rided
Correct your spelling
ridden
show examples
 together and it will not lead to accidents. The Government should plan it in
such
 a way
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
both
the
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apply
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parties are secure and it should be done before constructing the
roads
. They should do some research before taking
the
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apply
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action and all the accounts should be taken in mind before constructing the
roads
.
To conclude
, I think there are many
problems
 regarding the construction of
roads
 that
cyclists
 and car drivers are facing and to overcome these
problems
 the government should take the appropriate action in order to save
the
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apply
show examples
humanity
as well as
 the environment because it affects
both
.
Submitted by jatinderpanaich328 on

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task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task, discussing the problems of cyclists and car drivers sharing the same road and suggesting potential solutions. However, providing more specific examples and evidence could strengthen the argument. For example, you could mention specific cities or studies that demonstrate the problems you describe.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure to the essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas can be smoother. Using more linking phrases can enhance coherence. For example, use phrases like 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'In particular' to connect ideas more fluidly.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from deeper elaboration on the points made. For example, explaining why narrow roads lead to accidents or why specific government actions would be effective can provide more comprehensive insights. Adding more detail can greatly enhance the clarity and effectiveness of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the essay generally maintains a logical flow, there are occasional awkward phrasings and minor grammatical issues. Phrasing such as 'breadth of the roads' could be more naturally stated as 'narrowness of the roads'. Additionally, ensure subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tenses to improve overall readability.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies relevant problems caused by cyclists and car drivers sharing the same road. It also suggests feasible solutions, demonstrating a good understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion effectively. The central argument is easy to understand and follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban areas
  • road space
  • accidents
  • safety concerns
  • differences in speed and size
  • vulnerable
  • severe injuries
  • road rage
  • frustration
  • aggressive behavior
  • infrastructure
  • road design
  • unsafe conditions
  • environmental impact
  • emissions
  • environmental degradation
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