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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the amount of money spennt on books in Germany , France , Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.

The graph shows the amount of money spennt on books in Germany , France , Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.
#amount #money #spennt #books #germany #france #austria
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The line graph depicts data on the amount of money that was spent on books
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 four European countries over the course of ten years.
Overall
, between 1995 and 2005, a rising trend can be seen between
four
Correct article usage
the four
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 countries. Germany took
a
Correct article usage
the
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 lead, reaching
highest
Add an article
the highest
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 number,
while
France
 and
next
Correct word choice
apply
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Italy are not far behind.
However
, Austria experienced a
sighificant
Correct your spelling
significant
 climb, attaining nearly the
France
 level.
To begin
 with, in 1995, Germany started at 80
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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dollars, following that it gradually reached its vertex by 2005 at about 95. As the country with the lowest rate
in
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of
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selling
Replace the word
sales
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,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 accounted for 30
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dollars in the beginning, it
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
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 moderately over the next 6 years,
then
 it skyrocketed, accumulating just above 70 by 2005.
On the other hand
,
Itay
Correct your spelling
Italy
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 and
France
 started at nearly the same level, Italy at 50 and
France
 at about 55. Over the years the sellings gradually grew,
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 by 2005,
France
 surpassed
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Italy, reaching roughly 72
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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of
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apply
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dollars,
while
 Italy accomplished just over 60.
Submitted by katenok200312 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • peak
  • surge
  • decline
  • fluctuate
  • steady
  • comparison
  • significant change
  • spending patterns
  • economic conditions
  • cultural factors
  • cross-country comparison
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