It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaurs, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

, There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
many
consideratons
Correct your spelling
considerations
consideration
that whether or not
people
are responsible for protecting animal
species
from
extinction
.
Although
it may be true that
people
do not need to intervene in the
extinction
of
animals
, the writer agrees with the former and holds a belief that there are several reasons to protect them. On the one hand, it is not essential to prevent the
extinction
of
animals
because
that is
the natural process, which ensures the adaptation of different
species
in various habitats . To illustrate
this
point, it is recorded that
Dinousaurs
Correct your spelling
Dinosaurs
, which are the strongest and largest
species
,
extinct
Add a missing verb
are extinct
show examples
due to
the pollution of the globe and
also
the fall of meteorites.
Thus
, if the animal cannot put up with the changes of the world, they will be replaced by the others.
On the other hand
, preventing the
extinction
of
animals
is one of the missions that
people
need to carry out nowadays. Wild animal
species
play a
pivortal
Correct your spelling
pivotal
role
to maintain
Change preposition
in maintaining
show examples
the connection between them. To clarify, each animal is a significant part of the
food
chain for other
species
. If one becomes extinct, it might lead to many other
animals
in the
food
chain being negatively affected.
For example
, insects are seen as the
food
of amphibians,
while
amphibians are
also
the
food
of herbivores and in the end,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
animals
become the prey of carnivores.
Therefore
,
people
should protect
animals
to help maintain a balanced ecosystem. In conclusion,
while
there are some reasons why
people
should not prevent the
extinction
of
animals
, the writer
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
that
people
need to be aware of protecting animal
species
and have responsibility for maintaining them.
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task achievement
Improve your introduction by making it clearer. Replace vague phrases like 'there is many considerations' with a more direct statement of your argument.
task achievement
Work on reducing small grammatical and vocabulary errors (e.g., 'Dinousaurs' should be 'dinosaurs', 'extinct' should be followed by 'became extinct', and 'fall of meteorites' should be 'impact of meteorites').
task achievement
Ensure all your examples are directly relevant to your main points. For instance, the examples in the first body paragraph need clearer links to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more effective linking words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Clarify and expand your conclusion to effectively summarize your main points and restate your position.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint and attempts to provide both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The writer uses specific examples, such as the reference to dinosaurs and the food chain, to support their arguments.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow of ideas from the introduction, through the body paragraphs, to the conclusion.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecosystems
  • environmental ethics
  • habitat destruction
  • anthropogenic impact
  • ecological balance
  • natural selection
  • wildlife preservation
  • genetic diversity
  • endangered species
  • biological heritage
  • sustainable practices
  • Anthropocene
  • cascade effects
  • intrinsic value
  • habitat conservation
  • extinction crisis
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