It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaurs, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?
, There
is
many Change the verb form
are
consideratons
that whether or not Correct your spelling
considerations
consideration
people
are responsible for protecting animal species
from extinction
. Although
it may be true that people
do not need to intervene in the extinction
of animals
, the writer agrees with the former and holds a belief that there are several reasons to protect them.
On the one hand, it is not essential to prevent the extinction
of animals
because that is
the natural process, which ensures the adaptation of different species
in various habitats . To illustrate this
point, it is recorded that Dinousaurs
, which are the strongest and largest Correct your spelling
Dinosaurs
species
, extinct
Add a missing verb
are extinct
due to
the pollution of the globe and also
the fall of meteorites. Thus
, if the animal cannot put up with the changes of the world, they will be replaced by the others.
On the other hand
, preventing the extinction
of animals
is one of the missions that people
need to carry out nowadays. Wild animal species
play a pivortal
role Correct your spelling
pivotal
to maintain
the connection between them. To clarify, each animal is a significant part of the Change preposition
in maintaining
food
chain for other species
. If one becomes extinct, it might lead to many other animals
in the food
chain being negatively affected. For example
, insects are seen as the food
of amphibians, while
amphibians are also
the food
of herbivores and in the end, that
Correct word choice
apply
animals
become the prey of carnivores. Therefore
, people
should protect animals
to help maintain a balanced ecosystem.
In conclusion, while
there are some reasons why people
should not prevent the extinction
of animals
, the writer believe
that Change the verb form
believes
people
need to be aware of protecting animal species
and have responsibility for maintaining them.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Improve your introduction by making it clearer. Replace vague phrases like 'there is many considerations' with a more direct statement of your argument.
task achievement
Work on reducing small grammatical and vocabulary errors (e.g., 'Dinousaurs' should be 'dinosaurs', 'extinct' should be followed by 'became extinct', and 'fall of meteorites' should be 'impact of meteorites').
task achievement
Ensure all your examples are directly relevant to your main points. For instance, the examples in the first body paragraph need clearer links to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more effective linking words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Clarify and expand your conclusion to effectively summarize your main points and restate your position.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint and attempts to provide both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The writer uses specific examples, such as the reference to dinosaurs and the food chain, to support their arguments.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow of ideas from the introduction, through the body paragraphs, to the conclusion.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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