IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaurs, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

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, There
is
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are
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 many
consideratons
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considerations
consideration
 that whether or not
people
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 are responsible for protecting animal
species
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 from
extinction
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.
Although
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 it may be true that
people
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 do not need to intervene in the
extinction
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 of
animals
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, the writer agrees with the former and holds a belief that there are several reasons to protect them. On the one hand, it is not essential to prevent the
extinction
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 of
animals
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 because
that is
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 the natural process, which ensures the adaptation of different
species
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 in various habitats . To illustrate
this
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 point, it is recorded that
Dinousaurs
Correct your spelling
Dinosaurs
, which are the strongest and largest
species
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,
extinct
Add a missing verb
are extinct
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due to
Linking Words
 the pollution of the globe and
also
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 the fall of meteorites.
Thus
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, if the animal cannot put up with the changes of the world, they will be replaced by the others.
On the other hand
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, preventing the
extinction
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 of
animals
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 is one of the missions that
people
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 need to carry out nowadays. Wild animal
species
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 play a
pivortal
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pivotal
 role
to maintain
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in maintaining
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 the connection between them. To clarify, each animal is a significant part of the
food
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 chain for other
species
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. If one becomes extinct, it might lead to many other
animals
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 in the
food
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 chain being negatively affected.
For example
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, insects are seen as the
food
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 of amphibians,
while
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 amphibians are
also
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 the
food
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 of herbivores and in the end,
that
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apply
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animals
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 become the prey of carnivores.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should protect
animals
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 to help maintain a balanced ecosystem. In conclusion,
while
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 there are some reasons why
people
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 should not prevent the
extinction
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 of
animals
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, the writer
believe
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believes
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 that
people
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 need to be aware of protecting animal
species
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 and have responsibility for maintaining them.

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task achievement
Improve your introduction by making it clearer. Replace vague phrases like 'there is many considerations' with a more direct statement of your argument.
task achievement
Work on reducing small grammatical and vocabulary errors (e.g., 'Dinousaurs' should be 'dinosaurs', 'extinct' should be followed by 'became extinct', and 'fall of meteorites' should be 'impact of meteorites').
task achievement
Ensure all your examples are directly relevant to your main points. For instance, the examples in the first body paragraph need clearer links to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using more effective linking words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Clarify and expand your conclusion to effectively summarize your main points and restate your position.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint and attempts to provide both sides of the argument.
task achievement
The writer uses specific examples, such as the reference to dinosaurs and the food chain, to support their arguments.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical flow of ideas from the introduction, through the body paragraphs, to the conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecosystems
  • environmental ethics
  • habitat destruction
  • anthropogenic impact
  • ecological balance
  • natural selection
  • wildlife preservation
  • genetic diversity
  • endangered species
  • biological heritage
  • sustainable practices
  • Anthropocene
  • cascade effects
  • intrinsic value
  • habitat conservation
  • extinction crisis
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